The Montessori Toddler summary

If toddlers discover things at their own pace, it only makes sense for them to come to their interests on their own, too. It’s the adults’ responsibility only to encourage toddlers when they show interest in gaining new skills. One great example is when toddlers start to discover the world around them and take interest in plants, animals, and other things found outdoors. Adults can offer encouragement in this early interest in science by taking the time to explore some of the areas around their own home with their toddler. As toddlers become more familiar with the plants and creatures around their own homes, adults can expand that growth with visits to the public park or zoo to build on the knowledge of the environment that the toddler has already acquired.

This works because the brain is incredibly absorbent through the first six years of a child’s life. During this time, children can gain skills rapidly without even thinking about it, making it much easier to learn whatever interests them. If a child has developed a real interest in a specific topic, it’s a sign that their brain is ready to explore that topic on their own level. It’s good practice for parents to follow the child’s lead in letting them discover it themselves.

Toddlers love to do things for themselves, even things that many adults might find boring or unenjoyable. While developing the Montessori method, Dr. Montessori noticed that her class members genuinely wanted to help take care of the classroom. So she believed in giving toddlers some responsibilities once they had the motor skills and knowledge to handle them with minimal help. Activities for toddlers to engage in that are age- and skill-appropriate, allow them to gain a better appreciation for their home and the role they play in helping care for it.

When it comes to which activities they’re ready to try, it should be the child that leads. As long as they’re using the provided tools appropriately, they should be allowed to spend as much time as they like with the activity – even if they make mistakes in what they’re attempting to do. Parents should only step in when the child asks for help or is using objects in a way that might harm them, someone else, or the object itself. In preparation for this, parents should provide toddlers with tools that they’re willing to clean up themselves and nothing else. This minimizes the potential for mayhem should things go wrong.

During their exploration stages in attempts to master different tasks of life, toddlers inevitably engage in inappropriate behavior. One of the best things parents can do is redirect their child to a more appropriate activity that helps express their actions in a nondestructive way. For example, if a child is throwing all their toys on a hard surface, parents can bring them over to a carpeted area or provide them with soft toys that won’t hurt anything should the child throw them. If the child is banging an object on the wall repeatedly, a parent might give them a toy drum set so they can learn to hit things appropriately while understanding that not everything is something to hit against a hard surface.

One suggestion is to set up different areas of the home to encourage different skills and provide the materials children need to play and explore appropriately. Parents can set up one part of the home for crafting and provide only a few supplies that the child is ready to use correctly, while another can be a quiet area meant for looking at books and calming down. Parents can further encourage the child to use these areas properly by making them welcoming to someone of their size and skills. For example, parents might set up child-sized furniture and wall fixtures so that children can put things in their proper place without a need to ask for help every step of the way. By providing appropriate places for children to express their creativity and develop their understanding, parents can position themselves to say yes to their child’s desire for exploration because all items are being used appropriately.

Think back to the Mario game: The early levels all looked and felt pretty familiar when you were first playing the game. Then you moved on to a new world, and suddenly, the game looked completely different. A new environment presented itself – with new challenges to discover. But it wasn’t a big adjustment for you; you’d seen things change drastically many times before.

Toddlers go through a similar experience when they have new concepts introduced to them, but their brains haven’t developed enough yet to simply accept those changes as they are. As such, they have a harder time reacting appropriately when their routine is thrown off by something completely unexpected. Toddlers are mostly creatures of habit because they’re in the mastery stage, and they’re taking as long as they feel they need to completely grasp a new skill or concept. When this gets thrown off by an outside force, they might have a negative reaction because they don’t understand how to handle it.

Accepting children for who they are doesn’t mean accepting all of their behaviors in all situations. It means trying to gain a perspective as to why they have the behaviors they do and what can be done when a child engages in inappropriate behavior. Most of us know that a tantrum in public isn’t considered acceptable, but to the child, it can seem like the only way to let out their frustrations. Instead of getting upset with the child or punishing them, parents can offer understanding and try to translate the behavior in a way that both parent and child can understand.

In a case where the child is having a tantrum, parents can ask the toddler if there’s something that they’re trying to tell them so they can understand what’s going on in a more appropriate way. Remember, even though the average toddler only uses around 200 words by age two, they understand about five times as many words when adults use them, even if they don’t use them themselves. So toddlers might not know how to use the words they need in a certain situation, which can lead to frustration. As parents, part of accepting toddlers for who they are is to translate for them when they need assistance.

Making an effort to understand your toddler and how the world makes sense to them can help you do a better job of providing them with the tools they need to develop their skills positively. By letting them take the lead on their growth and listening for when they need help, you can gently guide them toward building their confidence and discovering the world around them at their own pace. This allows them to truly master their skills in a way that feels comfortable to both parent and child.