Out of Character summary

From the time we’re kids we’re told that morality is good and hypocrisy is bad. But in reality this division is just too simple!

That’s because being hypocritical isn’t so much violating your morals as it is shifting them to better suit your needs. People do it all the time. A politician might speak out against prostitution only to be caught soliciting a prostitute himself. When the media grills him on the subject he can’t seem to see a problem with his actions because his mind has convinced him that he did nothing wrong.

Have you found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? Well, even if you have, it won’t necessarily prevent you from feeling and acting on your lust.

That’s because lust is easily defined by most people, but love is another story. In fact, it eludes definition. For instance, Plato used to say that humans once had two heads and four legs and arms, and at some point, were split in two by the gods. As a result, we are each in search of our missing half, but how can we know when we find it?

Though pride is considered one of the seven deadly sins, this impulse isn’t actually such a bad thing. In fact, pride can help you work harder and even improve your social status.

That’s because if you take pride in your work you have more of a motivation to excel at it. Plus, prideful people are more capable of overcoming obstacles and mastering difficult scenarios. For instance, in studies on test-taking, it has been shown that knowing you scored well isn’t what makes you work harder: it’s receiving praise for scoring well that does.

Did you know that the divide between cruelty and compassion is actually quite narrow?

Just consider the Ivory Coast where, from 2002 to 2007, a civil war was fought between the north and the south. The fighting was non-stop, except a period of respite during which the warring sides joined together in support of the nation’s soccer team as they competed in the World Cup. After the tournament the fighting resumed.

Have you ever noticed how the smallest gesture of kindness from another person can totally transform the way you feel and act? Feeling gratitude makes people more willing to offer assistance to others.

In one experiment, participants were first given a boring computer-based test after which the screens would go blank, seemingly erasing the data. Then, an anonymous helper would step in to recover the information. Afterward, the participants automatically expressed gratitude even though they didn’t know who specifically had helped them and, later in the day, when they were asked for help by a stranger, they gladly lent a hand.

Do you play it safe and feel better saving your money than investing? Or are you more willing to take risks? Well, whichever tendency you lean towards, both exist within us all.

In fact, the difference between risk-takers and safe-players isn’t character, but actually how they view risk and reward, a perception that’s constantly shifting because of external factors, especially those that influence our emotions.

Are you one of those people who think they don’t hold prejudices?

Well think again, because people hold prejudicial beliefs and stereotypes for an evolutionary reason: they help us avoid danger. However, in the modern world such thoughts can make us behave in abhorrent ways and people easily succumb to them.