I'm Not Yelling summary

The American poet, memorist, and civil rights activist, Maya Angelou, once said, “You can’t know where you’re going unless you know where you came from.”

As so many Black women haven’t allowed themselves the time and space to unravel and investigate their stories, they’ve made it hard to tap into the power of their voices.

This held for Leiba who, upon deciding to step into her authentic, unapologetic self, realized she didn’t know who she was. Yes, she was a British-born, American-raised female, über-professional, and subject-matter expert in higher education. But that was just the surface layer. Who was she at her core? And what stories was this socially accepted front failing to acknowledge and incorporate?

For one, it denied the existence of her exuberant, expressive, colorful inner child – an aspect of herself extinguished while at college. It hid the tale of her arrest at 19 years old after being falsely accused of stealing a $2.49 pack of AA batteries. And it didn’t reveal anything of the three hard-earned master’s degrees, hours of unappreciated overtime, and bouts of depression. These threads of shame, prejudice, and struggle weren’t as palatable as the carefully crafted narrative Leiba was sharing before the COVID-19 pandemic. But it wasn’t until she wove these threads in that she uncovered her true reserves of confidence and creativity.

Leiba’s bold reclaiming of her story and voice put some people off. It also attracted people and opportunities she could never have imagined, such as journalists from the New York Times and Forbes, speaking engagements, and her very own podcast. Those few individuals who weren’t picking up what she was putting down? Well, she was no longer interested in sitting at tables where respect wasn’t being served.

If you’re ready to follow Leiba’s lead and embrace your wholeness, take a moment to reflect deeply on who you are and what you want your message to be. 

Some questions you can ask yourself include: What did you want to be as a child? Who were your heroes growing up? How much of your story do you want to share? How can you leverage your voice to reach more people? What do you want your legacy to be?

Then, to support you in showing up with your full narrative and voice, keep an affirmation or two with you as you go about your day. You could try, “I release limiting beliefs of my past” or “I’m proud of who I am today.” “I value my story” or “My voice is powerful.”

To invoke Maya Angelou once more, “There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside you.” Consider this your permission slip to finally honor your story and voice.