A Year of Positive Thinking summary

February is the month of love. And loving yourself is your first step. Just as you can’t expect perfection from others, don’t expect it from yourself either. Think about what you love about yourself: Are there certain aspects that need more self-love? What could you do to love yourself more?

And when it comes to your partner, remember that love also requires compromise. But if a prerequisite for love is change – either an expectation from your partner for you to change or vice versa – walk away. Loving someone unconditionally allows you to see them as they really are. But when you love someone conditionally, what you actually see is them as you are!

Loneliness is something everyone feels at some point in their life. But you’re never really alone. Reach out to your community and friends. And even though it may seem scary, allow yourself to speak to strangers too – they may even become your friends.

And when adversity comes calling, think about it as an opportunity for growth. You may fall apart, but you’ll put yourself back together again. Through it, you’ll learn to hope, to believe, and to dream. Not only will you survive the hard times; they'll also teach you how to thrive!

Just as caterpillars can transform into butterflies, ordinary people can become extraordinary too – including you! Here are three positive things you can implement this month to transform into a better you.

First, don’t be judgemental. If someone does something you dislike, hold back your disapproval. After all, tomorrow it may be you who’s doing something someone else disapproves of.

Let’s start May with a small exercise in positivity.

Think about five things you really enjoy. Maybe it’s reading novels – or maybe it’s exploring nearby towns or other places on weekends. Whatever those things are, write them down. Next, share your list with someone else, and ask them to do the same. Over the next month, make time to do the things on your lists together. When you get to the end of the month, share your experience with a third person. And then? Well, you’re ready to write a list for the next month.

Once there was a farmer who owned a horse. His neighbors told him he was lucky to own a horse. “Maybe,” he replied.

One day, the horse ran away. His neighbors came around and sympathized with him. “Such bad luck!” they said. “Maybe,” he answered.

However the world might seem right now, don’t stop dreaming. Take stock of how strong you are. Let your spirit rise to the top of every mountain, and believe that everything is possible. Let the magic of your optimism imbue you with the sense that your hopes and dreams can become reality.

Now take a moment to think about all of the things that you should do. Take a pen and paper, and write them down. When you’re done, consider each item and ask, Who told me that I should do this? You may be surprised to find that many of the items on your list are obligations or beliefs others have placed upon you, or they’re a result of some guilt you feel. Think about whether these “obligations” are stopping you from living the life you really want to live. Cross out anything on the list that’s holding you back. Take a deep breath, and enjoy your newfound freedom of decision!

For a friendship to flourish, you don’t need to have common interests or similar personalities. What’s more important is that your connection comes from the heart – and that you both value your connection equally. Nurture relationships that take you out of your comfort zone; these will optimize and sustain your own growth and bring you joy, love, and happiness. And make space for your true friends as they’ll be by your side not only for the good times, but also during times of turmoil.

Only you are responsible if your life becomes boring. So notice the magic moments each day. They’re all around you, from bumping into a friend you haven’t seen for a while to a smile from a stranger on the train – or just a rainbow after a storm.

Start this month by making a list of what you consider to be your best qualities. Then make your list into a series of affirmations. You can do this simply by adding “I am” before each one. So if you’ve written “caring partner,” you’d make it “I am a caring partner.” If you have “generous to my friends,” make it “I am generous to my friends,” and so on.

Say each of your affirmations out loud. How does that feel? 

Every moment of your life up until now has contributed to the person you’ve become – and will continue to become. And that includes the beauty in your life as well as the trauma. Your past experiences allow you to show empathy to others going through similar circumstances. But your past also creates possibilities for you – if you give it permission to do so. Only you can decide whether your past lies on you heavily or lightly.

When things in your life aren’t going as you’d like, think about how you can change things. Are you only reading negative things? Seek out something positive instead. Are the people around you down in the dumps? Allow yourself to be happy, and maybe your happiness will rub off on them too. If something isn’t going right in your world, seek out ways to change course.

Do you ever feel like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders? How does it make you feel? Regretful? Futile? Helpless?

We all need help sometimes, so don’t be shy about asking for it! Actually, being willing to ask for help is a sign of strength. What you’re demonstrating is that you want to take care of not only yourself, but also everyone around you. You don’t need to face things alone; there’s a whole world out there. Just ask!

You are extraordinary … so stop spending so much time criticizing yourself! Spend some time thinking about what it is you love about yourself – your physical traits, your qualities. Write them down, and don’t stop until you have 25 things. Read your list, and then file it away somewhere. Make a calendar note to revisit your list six months from now. Repeat this yearly. You could even do this as part of your birthday celebration each year.

Next time your inner critic – that voice inside you that questions everything you do – starts to bully you, tell yourself the exact opposite, even if you don’t really believe it. For example, if your inner critic says, “Nah, you don’t have enough experience to do that,” you say, “I have plenty of experience to tackle this task.” You’ll eventually come to believe what you tell yourself. Be patient; it may take some time, but it will happen.