Talking Across the Divide summary

Despite the recent rise in extremist views, there are some signs of hope out there.

In 1951, Polish-American psychologist Solomon Asch conducted an influential study. This study showed how a single person was likely to agree with a unified group, even if what was being agreed upon was obviously wrong – such as two lines on a chalkboard being the same length when they clearly weren’t. However, Asch’s study also showed that if just one other person from that group disagreed, this would significantly reduce the chances of the original subject succumbing to peer pressure.

Everyone is moved by a passionate speech. Or are they?

If you want to convince someone to join your cause, you may be inclined to have them sit down and listen to a speech. But unfortunately, things aren’t that simple. For the most part, speeches are given to crowds of people who’ve already been converted to the cause, and the outcome is that they just become even more devout followers.

So you’ve listened. You’ve prepared. You understand, as best you can, why someone feels so passionately about an issue. Maybe they’ve been raised by their parents to see things a certain way. Or maybe they’re just misinformed! Whatever the case may be, it’s now time to start the dialogue and give your side of the story.

But beware. There are certain things that are guaranteed to foil your plan. These are known as the five barriers to changing someone's mind. The first has to do with the ego.

When someone fervently believes in an irrational idea, they’re often not alone. Chances are, there’s a whole group of people out there believing the same thing, supporting one another, and keeping the bad idea alive.

This is often a problem, because whenever a person becomes faithful to a group, it can be difficult to get that person to go against the group’s doctrine. It will be up to you to break through this team loyalty, without scaring them away.

Did you know that Pepsi was considered an un-Christian brand? Oddly enough, this bit of misinformation stems from an incident that didn’t even involve Pepsi. Rather, it started when Dr. Pepper released cans of soda, in the wake of 9/11, that carried the message “One Nation… Indivisible.”

Some religious folks believed that the cans were deliberately skipping the words “Under God” and vowed never to buy a Dr. Pepper again. But somewhere along the way, there was the mistaken belief that Dr. Pepper was owned by Pepsi, which it never was. So the ban on Dr. Pepper extended to Pepsi for no good reason.

Imagine being told that a belief you’ve held your entire life is wrong. Now, imagine what that means for everything you’ve built on top of that belief. Starts to sound pretty scary, doesn’t it?

The problem with changing long-held beliefs is that they’re likely connected to other beliefs. In fact, they’re so crucial to a person that they inform their entire worldview.