Talking to Crazy summary

You might not know how to respond when a person starts acting crazily. But here’s an important point: don’t try to argue. Arguing never helps.

When a person is having a crazy episode, it’s usually because of some major event in that person’s past. A lot of craziness, for example, is rooted in childhood experiences.

Why do people snap into crazy behavior in the first place? These episodes are often about control.

A person’s craziness may well be rooted in his past, but such people often find themselves acting out because they want to feel control.

It’s easy to forget that craziness is a temporary state when you’re confronted with a person who’s screaming at you. But remember: no matter how crazy someone appears to be, part of that person is still sane. Tapping into that sanity is the key to calming him down.

So when a loved one drifts into craziness, remember that he’s still a good person. His craziness doesn’t define his entire being; he still has an inner sanity that is really listening to you. So speak to that sane person inside, and not the crazy wrapper!

Craziness manifests itself in many forms. Screaming or crying is easier to identify, but manipulation is a kind of craziness, too.

People often try to manipulate others because they refuse to take “no” for an answer. They might try to split two people apart as a way to vent anger, for instance.

We’ve learned that craziness is often motivated by a desire for control. Control is a big factor for another group of crazies, too: the know-it-alls.

There are a few ways to deal with a know-it-all. It might seem counterintuitive, but a good strategy is to boost a know-it-all’s ego even further. This lessens the person’s need to act superior.

Love is hard to find, but easy to lose. Love can also be torn apart by crazy behavior. Fortunately there are some tactics for protecting your relationship from crazy, irrational actions.

People often explain a breakup with off-handed comments like, “She demanded too much,” or “He always stayed out late,” but such problems are rarely the real reasons for a relationship’s end.

It’s hard to deal with a crazy person who is screaming and yelling. However, it’s also hard to deal with the opposite: a person who shuts down and won’t tell you what’s going on in his head.

When a loved one behaves like this, it’s important to voice the crazy thoughts you suspect he might be having. Feelings – especially negative feelings – can be overwhelming. We often look for ways to let our feelings out, but sometimes these feelings are so bad we bottle them up instead.

So far we’ve learned how to coax a crazy person out of a period of craziness. However, it’s important to understand that sometimes this isn’t always possible.

If a person has a real mental illness, he will need professional help.