Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Difficult People summary

The right words can make all the difference in resolving or fending off conflict. You’ll soon learn the five steps to working through conflict with an annoying boss, workplace bullies, and even yourself when you’re the one in the wrong.

But first, here are some phrases you’ll need for each of those steps.

Your conflict-management toolbox is almost full, but there’s one thing left to discuss before tying it all together in the five-step process – and that’s what you don’t say.

Nonverbal communication can completely change the meaning of your words. The wrong tone, facial expression, or posture can put a different slant on what you’re trying to say. So it helps to keep a few key things – many of them common knowledge – in mind.

Resolving conflict is a five-step process. We’ll pair each step with an example to help put it all together.

The first step is to think.

Every rule has an exception. Sometimes you can skip step two – getting a better understanding – because some behaviors just don’t require you to gain an understanding.

In the case of brownnosers, you may not even need to talk to them. If their brownnosing is just an annoying habit, it will likely get teased out of them by other coworkers. However, if they’re achieving unfair advantages due to their excessive flattery, your problem isn’t with them – it’s with your boss.

Believe it or not, the same five-step process applies to dealing with a difficult boss. You’ll just need to employ a little more tact – and approach carefully.

Before addressing your boss, first decide whether their behavior is frequent or offensive enough to warrant a confrontation. If you feel you can ignore their behavior, do that – and focus on doing your job the best you can.

The trickiest situations occur when the offending coworker is you.

The problem with being the problem is that other people may not know how to skillfully address their conflict with you. For instance, you may be approached by someone who didn’t take the time to think, understand, or define the problem. They may simply walk up and say, “Hey, you just let the door slam in my face, you insensitive jerk. What’s the matter with you?”

You have more power than you think when it comes to dealing with difficult people at work. To keep your relationships healthy and tension-free, use “I” phrases when starting conversations; check your body language and voice tone; integrate powerful phrases; and follow the five-step conflict management process. Whether it’s caused by coworkers, bosses, or even yourself, conflict doesn’t have to result in damage.