Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, and Distress Tolerance
It’s a fact of life: bad things happen. But while you can’t always change your circumstances, you can change how you respond to them.
When bad things happen, people with good emotion management skills know how to cope. They can breathe through the pain, or sit with their feelings. They can heal and repair.
On the other hand, there are also those of us who struggle to manage the overwhelm of an emotional onslaught. We might turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms: rage, drugs, self-harm. But not only does this hurt us – it also negatively impacts our relationships.
Take the case of Bryan and his wife, Kelly. Bryan had a habit of losing control during arguments with Kelly. He would say hateful things to her, and then drink away his feelings of anger and guilt at a bar. Needless to say, the relationship was suffering because of his behavior.
But Bryan decided to put in the work, and learned some basic skills that helped him get through the arguments without causing harm – two of which are distraction and self-soothing.
Distraction is a way to create space between you and the thing causing your distress without avoiding it altogether, which can result in more resentment and built-up tension. Once you’ve calmed down through your distraction, you can then go back and resolve whatever’s occurring.
Let’s say Bryan is starting to get into an argument with Kelly. But instead of saying hurtful things, he says, “I’m going to go wash some dishes.” This is a productive distraction. It gets a chore done, and gives Bryan some time and space to calm down before talking to Kelly again.
Other distractions include holding an ice cube, going for a run or doing some yoga, practicing a hobby, writing in your journal, and – last but not least – going somewhere private and having a good old cry.
Self-soothing is another important distress management skill. This technique helps you comfort yourself so you can relax. Self-soothing is a sensual thing, meant to ground you with a comforting visual, smell, or feeling. For instance, you could light your favorite scented candle, look through a family photo book, listen to music, suck on a lollipop, or take a warm bath.
These distress tolerance skills won’t make your stressful circumstances go away. But they will help you manage your emotions through this difficult time so that you don’t hurt yourself, or your relationships, in the heat of the moment.
The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook (2019) offers basic and advanced exercises to help people hone the four core emotional competencies. While it can be used alone, it’s also an excellent companion for anyone working with a therapist.
Ich bin begeistert. Ich liebe Bücher aber durch zwei kleine Kinder komme ich einfach nicht zum Lesen. Und ja, viele Bücher haben viel bla bla und die Quintessenz ist eigentlich ein Bruchteil.
Genau dafür ist Blinkist total genial! Es wird auf das Wesentliche reduziert, die Blinks sind gut verständlich, gut zusammengefasst und auch hörbar! Das ist super. 80 Euro für ein ganzes Jahr klingt viel, aber dafür unbegrenzt Zugriff auf 3000 Bücher. Und dieses Wissen und die Zeitersparnis ist unbezahlbar.
Extrem empfehlenswert. Statt sinnlos im Facebook zu scrollen höre ich jetzt täglich zwischen 3-4 "Bücher". Bei manchen wird schnelle klar, dass der Kauf unnötig ist, da schon das wichtigste zusammen gefasst wurde..bei anderen macht es Lust doch das Buch selbständig zu lesen. Wirklich toll
Einer der besten, bequemsten und sinnvollsten Apps die auf ein Handy gehören. Jeden morgen 15-20 Minuten für die eigene Weiterbildung/Entwicklung oder Wissen.
Viele tolle Bücher, auf deren Kernaussagen reduziert- präzise und ansprechend zusammengefasst. Endlich habe ich das Gefühl, Zeit für Bücher zu finden, für die ich sonst keine Zeit habe.
Hol dir mit Blinkist die besten Erkenntnisse aus mehr als 7.000 Sachbüchern und Podcasts. In 15 Minuten lesen oder anhören!
Jetzt kostenlos testen
Blink 3 von 12 - Eine kurze Geschichte der Menschheit
von Yuval Noah Harari
