Big Feelings Buchzusammenfassung - das Wichtigste aus Big Feelings

Einleitung anhören

00:00

Zusammenfassung von Big Feelings

Name: Big Feelings
Rating: 4.2 (322 reviews)
Author: Mollie West Duffy and Liz Fosslien

Mollie West Duffy and Liz Fosslien

How to be Okay When Things Are Not Okay

4.2 (322 Bewertungen)

25 Min.

Themen

Self-Care Self-Help Emotional Intelligence Social Psychology Mental Health

Inhaltsübersicht

Big Feelings
in 7 Kernaussagen verstehen

Audio & Text in der Blinkist App

Kernaussage 1 von 7

What’s in it for me? Learn how not to be overwhelmed by the weight of how you feel.

Let's imagine you’re walking through a crowd of people. What do you see? Ponytails, bushy eyebrows, freckles, nose piercings, baseball caps, long earlobes, someone chewing gum, thick-rimmed glasses . . .

What you don’t see is the enormous weight of feelings that each of those people is carrying with them. Uncertainty. Envy. Anger. Burnout. Even, in some cases, despair.

We all feel these things – and for some people, since the pandemic, we feel them more than ever. And it's the biggest feelings of all that can be the toughest to talk about.

In this Blink, we’ll go over the book Big Feelings by Mollie West Duffy and Liz Fosslien. You’ll learn how to acknowledge those feelings to yourself and the world around you – so you can move forward. This isn’t going to solve all your problems. But it might be the best way to start tackling them.

In this Blink, you’ll learn

why you feel more stressed, the less you know;
how envy can become a positive; and
what to do with your righteous anger.

Uncertainty

One day, Liz, the coauthor, got a headache. A really bad one. It was so bad that she could barely walk, and before she knew it she found herself in the hospital.

It wasn’t a tumor – great. It wasn’t an aneurysm either. But . . . what was it?

While they searched for a solution, a variety of doctors gave Liz a slew of treatments. Botox to the head. Steroids for her eye muscles. And antiepileptic drugs, which first gave her a crippling panic attack on the Chicago L train, and then, when she quit cold turkey, landed her back in the hospital.

But the worst thing of all? The uncertainty of not knowing what was wrong with her. It’s always the uncertainty. Uncertainty sucks.

Scientific studies back that up. How would you feel if you were told you had a 50 percent chance of receiving a mild electric shock? You’d be anxious, right?

But how would you feel if you were told the probability was 90 percent?

A group of scientists actually did that, and guess what: people felt more stressed – three times as stressed – if they had a 50 percent chance of receiving the shock.

Because when it was 90 percent likely that they’d be shocked, at least they knew it was coming. That’s how much people hate uncertainty.

So what do you do when you’re faced with it?

Rule 1: don’t avoid the problem – sit with it. It’s all too common to push uncertainty away by busying yourself with other tasks. Don’t do it. Let it in. Face it head-on. Try counting to 90. Chances are the panicky feeling will have subsided.

Then, get specific. Ask yourself: What are you really anxious about? Literally, what do you think might happen? And how would each possible scenario play out?

Now, of course, when you do that, don’t start catastrophizing. Remember that the worst-case scenario isn’t certain to happen – far from it. Be sure to plot out the best-case scenario, too.

But acknowledging exactly what you’re really worried about will put you well on the path to dealing with uncertainty in the healthiest way you can.

When you’re plotting out your scenarios, you’ll realize there are some things you can control and some things you can’t. As the famous saying goes, what you need is the wisdom to know the difference between them. Do your best in what you can control, and accept what you can’t.

Oh, and what happened to Liz, by the way? She learned to live with her migraines and took all the steps she could to tackle the pain without causing herself further harm. It’s far from perfect – but she’s learned to deal with it. And her uncertainty has turned into acceptance.

Comparison

Mollie, the other author, used to talk to Vanessa regularly. They’d been close since high school and their friendship had survived its share of ups and downs as their lives had progressed along similar, successful paths. They both wrote a book. They both got married.

But only Vanessa got pregnant. And suddenly Mollie couldn’t bear to talk to her.

Anger

So, comparison: not all bad, as far as big feelings go. And the same goes for our next big feeling, too: anger.

A friend of the authors, Griffin, was on a foreign trip with the multinational company he worked for. He and the team were on their way out to lunch one day when a senior team member shoved his hand under Griffin’s shirt and started feeling his chest, chanting the word “Gay!”

Burnout

Mollie used to work as a consultant for a global innovation firm. She did this while also writing her first book with Liz. It was a hectic lifestyle and it required a lot of traveling.

It’s a moment she’ll never forget – the moment the burnout phase began. She was flying home to Seattle for Christmas, having already been in New York City, Montreal, Shanghai, and DC. She was in first class because she had the miles.

Perfectionism

Liz’s favorite pair of pajamas was a long pair of men’s pants with a hole in them. Her favorite evening snack was a bowl of popcorn soaked in soy sauce. Sometimes, Liz liked to get up in the middle of the night and pace around frantically, just to tire herself out. Oh, and her apartment was a mess.

All that was fine – it was just who she was. But when she got food poisoning, her boyfriend sweetly offered to come round and make some soup for her. Then she panicked. She couldn’t bear to let him see the state of her apartment! She panicked so much that she threw up.

Despair

Let’s start this chapter with a trigger warning – it mentions suicide, so if you’d rather not read about that, skip to the next one.

Mollie was 32, and her first book had just come out. She was happily married and had no history of depression. But something changed, suddenly.

Regret

When she was a kid, Liz spent every summer with her grandmother in Germany. Liz cherishes those memories – of her grandmother’s dated floral wallpaper in the hallways and her big cozy armchairs in the living room, all in a strange and enthralling foreign land.

But when her grandmother died, her mother asked Liz to go with her to Germany to clean out the house – and Liz said no. She was busy with work and she was angling for a promotion, so the timing was just off.

Du möchtest die gesamte Zusammenfassung von Big Feelings sehen?

Kernaussagen in Big Feelings

Mehr Wissen in weniger Zeit

Sachbücher auf den Punkt gebracht

Kernaussagen aus Sachbüchern in ca. 15 Minuten pro Titel lesen & anhören mit den „Blinks”

Zeitsparende Empfehlungen

Titel, die dein Leben bereichern, passend zu deinen Interessen und Zielen

Podcasts in Kurzform ^Neu

Kernaussagen wichtiger Podcasts im Kurzformat mit den neuen „Shortcasts”

Worum geht es in Big Feelings?

Big Feelings (2022) is a guide to coping with some of the toughest emotions we ever face, from anger to despair. By acknowledging and facing up to these emotions, it’s possible to work through them.

Wer Big Feelings lesen sollte

People feeling overwhelmed by big emotions
Anyone who struggles to open up
Self-help enthusiasts after advice

Über den Autor

Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy previously cowrote No Hard Feelings, which is about emotions in the workplace. Fosslien also works at Humu and her work and illustrations have been published widely. Duffy is an organizational and leadership development expert who writes on workplace culture.

Kategorien mit Big Feelings

Psychology Personal Development

Ähnlich wie Big Feelings

Originals

Adam Grant

How Non-Conformists Move the World

All the Time You Need to Stop Counter-Productive Habits and Get the Results You Want

15 min

4.1

No Hard Feelings

Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy

The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work

21 min

4.3

Designing Your Work Life

Bill Burnett

How to Thrive and Change and Find Happiness at Work

23 min

4.2

The Journey Beyond Fear

John Hagel III

Leverage the Three Pillars of Positivity to Build Your Success

How Feelings Shape Our Thinking

You Are Not a To Do List

18 min

4.4

The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down

Haemin Sunim

How to Be Calm in a Busy World

You Have More Time Than You Think

Building a Civilised Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't

13 min

4.1

The Art of Worldly Wisdom

Baltasar Gracián y Morales

A Pocket Oracle

21 min

4.2

Less Doing, More Living

Ari Meisel

Make Everything in Life Easier

How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole

26 min

4.7

The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook

Matthew McKay

Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, and Distress Tolerance

Own Your Morning. Elevate Your Life.

22 min

4.5

Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself

Joe Dispenza

How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One

The Secret to Love That Lasts

The Theory of Multiple Intelligences

28 min

4.5

It Doesn’t Have to Be Crazy at Work

Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson

Reclaim your work-life balance

21 min

4.0

The ADHD Effect on Marriage

Melissa Orlov

Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps

17 min

4.5

How to Be an Adult in Relationships

David Richo

The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

26 min

4.5

Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?

Julie Smith

Everyday Tools for Life’s Ups & Downs

The 7 Things Resilient People Do Differently (And How They Can Help You Succeed in Business and Life)

How to Get the Most Out of Your Life

Timeless Stoic and Buddhist philosophy

33 min

4.6

Rethinking Narcissism

Craig Malkin

The Bad – and Surprising Good – about Feeling Special

13 min

3.7

Dare to Lead (New Version)

Brené Brown

Brave work. Tough conversations. Whole hearts.

21 min

4.3

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do

Amy Morin

Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success

40 min

4.6

What Happened to You?

Bruce D. Perry and Oprah Winfrey

Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing

The Biohacker's Guide to Getting the Body and Mind You Want

Reclaiming Life from Work

13 min

4.0

How Proust Can Change Your Life

Alain de Botton

Valuable Insights Into Living Your Best Life

Powerful Habits to Own Your Thoughts, Understand Your Feelings, and Change Your Life

Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life

19 min

4.4

The 4 Day Week

Andrew Barnes with Stephanie Jones

How the flexible work revolution can increase productivity, profitability, and wellbeing, and help create a sustainable future

The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life (Before 8 A.M.)

20 min

4.5

Emotional Blackmail

Susan Forward with Donna Frazier

When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You

A Brief History of Humankind

28 min

4.4

The Power of the Downstate

Sara C. Mednick

The New Science to Ignite Energy, Enhance Sharpness, and Reclaim Balance

A Guide to Compassionate Living

Recognizing Faces and Feelings to Improve Communication and Emotional Life

16 min

3.7

The Gap and the Gain

Dan Sullivan with Benjamin Hardy

The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

20 min

4.6

Change Your Brain, Change Your Life

Dr. Daniel G. Amen

The Breakthrough Program for Conquering Anxiety, Depression, Obsessiveness, Anger, and Impulsiveness

A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be

How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure

20 min

3.9

Nonviolent Communication

Marshall B. Rosenberg

A Language of Life

24 min

4.5

The Fine Art Of Small Talk

Debra Fine

How To Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills – and Leave a Positive Impression!

The Science of Succeeding with People

The Power of Reinvention in Life and Work

14 min

4.0

Thinking, Fast and Slow

Daniel Kahneman

Intuition or deliberation? Where you can (and can't) trust your brain

28 min

4.5

❤️ für Blinkist️️️

Ines S.

Ich bin begeistert. Ich liebe Bücher aber durch zwei kleine Kinder komme ich einfach nicht zum Lesen. Und ja, viele Bücher haben viel bla bla und die Quintessenz ist eigentlich ein Bruchteil.

Genau dafür ist Blinkist total genial! Es wird auf das Wesentliche reduziert, die Blinks sind gut verständlich, gut zusammengefasst und auch hörbar! Das ist super. 80 Euro für ein ganzes Jahr klingt viel, aber dafür unbegrenzt Zugriff auf 3000 Bücher. Und dieses Wissen und die Zeitersparnis ist unbezahlbar.

Ekaterina S.

Extrem empfehlenswert. Statt sinnlos im Facebook zu scrollen höre ich jetzt täglich zwischen 3-4 "Bücher". Bei manchen wird schnelle klar, dass der Kauf unnötig ist, da schon das wichtigste zusammen gefasst wurde..bei anderen macht es Lust doch das Buch selbständig zu lesen. Wirklich toll

Nils S.

Einer der besten, bequemsten und sinnvollsten Apps die auf ein Handy gehören. Jeden morgen 15-20 Minuten für die eigene Weiterbildung/Entwicklung oder Wissen.

Julia P.

Viele tolle Bücher, auf deren Kernaussagen reduziert- präzise und ansprechend zusammengefasst. Endlich habe ich das Gefühl, Zeit für Bücher zu finden, für die ich sonst keine Zeit habe.