The Not To Do List summary

If there’s one overarching piece of advice for living a successful life, it’s this: don’t let things fall apart. Sounds obvious, right? But that doesn’t mean it’s simple or straightforward. Not letting things fall apart is a process of constant maintenance. It’s not heroic work. No one wins an award for doing the routine maintenance that keeps a building in good shape or prevents a bridge from collapsing when a heavy storm arrives. And yet, this is the work that matters.

Maintenance requires diligence and attention to the small things. There’s an anecdote about a man and his leaky roof. When it’s sunny out, he doesn’t think the leaky roof is important, so he puts it off. And when it’s raining, he thinks the conditions are too bad to do the work. This kind of neglect is exactly how things quietly get worse until they’re falling apart – whether that’s your health, your relationships, or your work.

To live a good life, you need to stay watchful and do what needs to be done, even when it’s difficult or uncomfortable. It might mean calling the doctor when you’re feeling dizzy, having that tough conversation with your partner, or addressing what’s wrong with your business.

These things will catch up with you sooner or later – and then it’ll all fall apart. So stop telling yourself that you don’t have the time. Which brings us to the next item on the not-to-do list: don’t drift from one thing to the next, hoping productivity will happen on its own.

Successful people plan their days with intention, blocking out time for their most important work while their minds are fresh. Structure your days mindfully and show up for yourself. Respect the limited amount of time you have to do the things that matter.

Quick advice on structuring your days: estimate how much time each task truly needs, but don’t be a perfectionist. Plans will go awry. So just leave room in tomorrow’s schedule for overflow. Keep it simple. The point is to prioritize the most important tasks and to make sure the hours of the day don’t slip through your fingers.

Meanwhile, don’t say yes to every request. “No” is a small word, but it’s your greatest weapon for protecting your time and energy. You’re not obliged to jump at every demand that comes your way. There’s no resource more precious than your time. Guarding it is a sign of respect for yourself and your goals. People will understand.

Speaking of goals. Maybe it’s time to double-check those, because if you’re spending all your time on the wrong goals, then that’s just another form of poor time management. If you're chasing external markers like beauty, fame, or wealth, you’re going to end up feeling empty. 

A good goal comes from asking yourself, What kind of person do I want to become? Work on your character. Make it your goal to become more disciplined and less envious, angry, and self-pitying. When you start to achieve these kinds of goals, you’ll discover that happiness and peace will follow naturally. In the next section, we’ll look at some of the personal goals that are worth your time.