The Fifth Agreement summary

As we grow up we make agreements with one another and with ourselves. One agreement is to share certain symbologies through which we can communicate, like language, as we learned in the last blink. You’re only able to comprehend what you are reading or hearing now because you agree with the writer on the meaning of the words.

But here, the key word is “agree”– it’s not about universal truth. The symbology we’re taught feels true because we agree that the symbols hold a certain value or meaning, not because it’s the absolute truth.

Words are a powerful creation tool – we use them all the time. But many of us don’t fully fathom just how much words matter.

When you use words charged with self-judgment and self-rejection, you’re using words against yourself.

Remember a time when a family member or friend didn’t understand your way of thinking, and how hurt or angry you felt about it? We’ve all experienced this. But there’s really no use in taking misunderstandings or negative opinions to heart.

It’s vital to remember that the opinions that people hold about you only concern their personal image of you. What they think about you isn’t the real you.

Have you ever made a false assumption about why someone was late or didn’t show up to your meeting or date? Most people make assumptions that turn out to be false, and this can create unnecessary worry and drama.

As humans, we have a need to predict, explain and justify events that happen in our lives, and when we’re uncertain about something, we fill in the gaps by imagining what people are thinking, doing, and feeling.

You’ve now learned about three agreements: be impeccable with words, don’t take anything personally, and don’t make assumptions. But how can you integrate these into your life? By dedicating yourself to the fourth agreement: always doing your best.

When you do your best, you’ll find that the first three agreements will manifest far more easily in your life.

Everyone wants to express their point of view by telling stories about their experience of the world. But how do you know which of the stories are true? By committing to the fifth agreement of being skeptical.

To thoroughly explore what symbology people are using in their storytelling, you have to be skeptical of what is being communicated. This means agreeing with yourself to not naively buy into everything you hear, and to look behind the symbols.