Everyday Ubuntu summary

Try to imagine you’re a black woman living in Johannesburg during apartheid. Every day, you see poverty in black townships while white communities get richer. And worse, you witness terrible violence.

It’s natural to conclude that a woman in this situation would loathe the white people in those communities. But ubuntu asks us to consider the positions of others, even if we deeply disagree with them.

In the rush of modern living, it’s easy to forget that a small gesture can hold extraordinary power.

Ngomane’s grandfather, Archbishop Desmond Tutu – a Nobel Peace Prize laureate – was once a little boy living in a poor black township in Johannesburg. One day, as he walked down the street with his mother, a white priest named Trevor Huddleston raised his hat as he passed them. This gesture of respect to Tutu’s mother only took a few seconds but it changed Tutu’s perspective. He realized that, contrary to his experiences up to that point, not all white people treated black people badly.

Hope. It’s a word many of us use every day. “I hope it’s sunny this weekend.” “I hope my meeting goes well.” “I hope I hear from that cute guy.” Most of the time, we use the word “hope” to express something we want. But hope is much more than that.

The key message here is: Adopting hope as a state of being helps us endure challenging experiences.

Being hurt by others is an inevitable part of life. Often, these incidences are relatively small – our lover forgets our birthday or a stranger is rude to us. Sometimes, though, we’re deeply damaged by the actions of others – physically, mentally and emotionally. In these times, forgiveness seems unfathomable. We cling to our position as the injured party because we’ve been wronged. But all this does is force us to relive our pain, instead of giving ourselves the chance to heal.

The key message here is: Forgiving others begins with acknowledging their humanity.

Every human being is a one-off production, and not just genetically. We all bring our own talents, histories, and points of view into the world. It’s curious then to consider how fearful we can be of people who are different from ourselves. The truth is, though, if we were all exactly the same, as a species, we’d fail.

The key message here is: Diversity is an asset we should embrace, not fear.

Imagine you’ve broken your leg falling out of a hammock. You have two options: get the medical attention you need, or pretend you’re fine. Which scenario will lead to your leg healing: having it properly set in a cast, or hobbling around and ignoring the issue?

The key message here is: In order to move forward, we must be brutally honest about where we are.

Listening. It’s one of the greatest acts of respect we can pay another human. By truly listening to someone else, we’re showing them that their voice matters, whether we agree with them or not. But listening doesn’t just acknowledge someone else’s value, it increases our own too.

The key message here is: By listening deeply, we become more compassionate and open-minded.