The Introverted Leader summary

Imagine a crucial meeting where many employees are fighting to share their thoughts on a marketing problem. Each individual is competing for the boss’s limited attention – and if you’re an introvert, this is one area where you could lose out.

Why?

Everyone who's worked in an office knows that sometimes people prefer to work alone. But introverts need that alone time even more – to a point where it can be to their disadvantage.

It’s important for introverts to regularly work in solitude, but it can take diplomatic skill and effort to defend this preference.

Imagine you’re an introvert: when your boss asks you to deal with a problem, you’ll tend to retreat to your office and take the time you need to concentrate on your assignment. Two weeks later, a staff evaluation comes up, and you’re shocked to find you’ve been criticized for working too slow and acting aloof.

Being on the receiving end of this kind of misperception is common for introverts. One reason introverts are mistaken for slow thinkers is their tendency to carefully consider what they want to say and make sure it's the best answer they can offer. Extroverts on the other hand are prone to contributing a suggestion as soon as it comes to their mind – and the combination of these two thinking styles can lead extroverts to believe that introverts are slower thinkers.  

Do you hesitate before you share your thoughts? Do you pause to check the pros and cons of your statement? If so, you may well be introverted. And whilst some might misunderstand why you’re taking your time to react, it can also be a big advantage.

Why?

To further our exploration of introverts, let’s consider the case of Judy, a quiet four-year-old. Judy rarely plays with her peers, but is a brilliant observer and knows the exact activities and playmates each of her peers prefers.

In fact most introverts like Judy are good observers. This is because introverts often don’t participate in games, banter, chit-chat or discussions, but rather stay at the fringes and intently observe the interactions.

Meeting the right people and nurturing relationships are essential for a leader’s success. But does this mean that introverts have to exhaust themselves spending their workdays in team meetings and their evenings collecting business cards?

The tension between introverts and traditional networking arises because extroverts and introverts prefer different types of interaction: extroverts enjoy small talk, whilst introverts prefer in-depth conversation. For introverts, networking often consists of too much small talk which they can’t connect to.

Imagine: maybe in a hundred years there will be no more offices, everyone will work from home and every social interaction will take place on the internet: this could be the era of the introverts. But until then, introverted leaders will have to push their comfort zones to adapt to our extroverted world.

Why?

Some people struggle so much with small talk they come to believe they’re simply lacking the small talk gene. But they're mistaken – because in fact, everyone can learn small talk.

Small-talking is a particular challenge for introverts, and their tendency to shun it can make them appear rude, unfriendly or incompetent – which can seriously harm their careers. But if introverts prepare for small-talk in advance, they can become confident enough to stop avoiding it. They could for example prepare backup topics, entertaining anecdotes and generic open-ended questions they can employ when needed.