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The Path Between Us

An Enneagram Journey to Healthy Relationships

By Suzanne Stabile
16-minute read
Audio available
The Path Between Us by Suzanne Stabile

The Path Between Us (2019) explores the nine personality types of the Enneagram system. These blinks reveal the desires and fears that drive human behavior, and explain how to successfully communicate with every type of person. 

  • Fans of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator 
  • Anyone looking for a fresh perspective on human behavior
  • Those seeking to improve their relationships

Suzanne Stabile is an author, speaker, and Enneagram master teacher. Stabile is the coauthor of the bestselling book The Road Back to You, as well as cofounder of the nonprofit Life in the Trinity Ministry – a center for spiritual growth. 

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The Path Between Us

An Enneagram Journey to Healthy Relationships

By Suzanne Stabile
  • Read in 16 minutes
  • Audio & text available
  • Contains 10 key ideas
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The Path Between Us by Suzanne Stabile
Synopsis

The Path Between Us (2019) explores the nine personality types of the Enneagram system. These blinks reveal the desires and fears that drive human behavior, and explain how to successfully communicate with every type of person. 

Key idea 1 of 10

Ones are always reaching for perfection. 

Have you ever been so preoccupied with what’s going wrong that you’ve forgotten to enjoy all the things that are going well? If you tend to focus on your mistakes instead of celebrating your triumphs, then you’re probably a One on the Enneagram.

The key message here is: Ones are always reaching for perfection. 

Life isn’t always fun for a One. Even in the midst of a joyful experience, a One can’t stop focusing on the little things that have gone wrong. For instance, she could be enjoying a family party when, suddenly, she realizes that she forgot to bring her camera. Other personality types might shrug their shoulders and move on, but Ones will spend the rest of the party feeling bitter about their mistake. 

Ones are known as Perfectionists. While she seeks to do things perfectly, she has a critical inner voice telling her nothing she does is ever good enough. As a result, people with this personality type often have low self-esteem. 

Deep down, the One is an insecure person trying to be good. Not only does she spot mistakes that others miss, but she also takes it upon herself to correct these mistakes. When she undertakes a task, she does it step by step, completing each phase as correctly as she can. Ones always try their best, and they expect others to do the same. 

But even though Ones are hard workers, they also tend to alienate people. Not only do they need to be right all the time, but they’re also prone to anger. This isn’t that surprising – after all, it's pretty frustrating to feel like you’re living in a dangerously imperfect world that’s full of mistakes. 

If you’re a One, try to accept that your partner might not have the same high standards as you do. You should also acknowledge that their definition of “perfect” will be different from yours. And understand that no matter how hard you try, you probably won’t be able to change their way of seeing the world. 

If you’re in a relationship with a One, look for ways to show them that they’re good enough. Remember that Ones are often exhausted from battling their critical inner voice, so try to be gentle with them. If they’re always criticizing you, let them know that you’re more likely to change your behavior with praise for the things you get right! Finally, remind your One to take vacations and time off once in a while. 

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