What is the main message of Briefly Perfectly Human?

The essence of Briefly Perfectly Human centers on embracing our mortality to live authentically and purposefully.

How long does it take to read Briefly Perfectly Human?

Reading Briefly Perfectly Human takes a few hours. The Blinkist summary can be read in just 15 minutes.

Is Briefly Perfectly Human a good book? Is it worth reading?

Briefly Perfectly Human is a profound exploration of living fully. It's worth reading for its insightful perspective on life and acceptance.

Who is the author of Briefly Perfectly Human?

The author of Briefly Perfectly Human is Alua Arthur.

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Briefly Perfectly Human Book Summary - Briefly Perfectly Human Book explained in key points

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Briefly Perfectly Human summary

Name: Briefly Perfectly Human
Rating: 4 (17 reviews)
Author: Alua Arthur

Alua Arthur

Making an Authentic Life by Getting Real about the End

4 (17 ratings)

17 mins

Brief summary

Briefly Perfectly Human explores the intricacies of human connections, mortality, and the meaning of life. Alua Arthur provides profound insights and practical advice for embracing our shared humanity and facing life's most significant challenges.

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Self-Help Mindful Loving Mental Health Healthy Living Meaningful Living

Table of Contents

Briefly Perfectly Human
Summary of 5 key ideas

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Key idea 1 of 5

What’s in it for me? Insights into one of life’s trickiest topics.

Imagine living each day with a clearer vision of your priorities, emboldened to pursue what truly matters. This, Alua Arthur argues, is the promise that comes from embracing the reality of mortality. Arthur, a leading death doula, contends that considering our own inevitable deaths shouldn’t be seen as morbid obsession, but as a vital part of living a full and meaningful life.

For those who hesitate at the topic of death, worried about the emotional weight such discussions can carry, Arthur’s approach is both comforting and enlightening. Through her work, she not only handles the logistics of dying – like medical directives and memorial planning – but also addresses the emotional and spiritual needs of those at life’s threshold.

Briefly Perfectly Human draws from Arthur’s extensive experience in the quiet, introspective moments at the end of lives, where she facilitates the expression of unresolved issues and unvoiced emotions. Her book doesn’t just talk about death; it talks about making the most of every lived moment by acknowledging the inevitable end, inviting us to consider how facing death can lead to a more intentional and authentic life.

Death doulas provide invaluable – and daunting – care work.

Conversations about death are never comfortable, but they’re crucial. And as paradoxical as it might sound, tackling this thorny subject head on actually enhances our quality of life. When we confront our mortality, we become more focused on what truly matters: our values, relationships, and how we manage the time allotted to us on this planet. Thinking and talking about death also helps us to approach the end of our lives gracefully, reducing the fear and anxiety that often accompany the prospect of dying.

That, in a nutshell, is the conclusion of Alua Arthur, America’s leading death doula or “death companion.” Her journey to becoming a death doula began from a place of personal discontent. Previously working as an attorney, a profession that brought more dissatisfaction than fulfillment, her life changed after a transformative encounter with a terminally ill traveler in Cuba. That meeting taught her the importance of actively shaping one’s life narrative, leading to the foundation of Going with Grace, an organization dedicated to assisting others in planning for their end-of-life stages.

A crucial part of Arthur’s work is addressing and resolving regrets, allowing individuals to reconcile the life they lived with the life they wished they had. This process is crucial for dying with peace and dignity. The support provided during these times covers practical aspects, such as finding appropriate care, as well as offering a profound emotional connection, providing a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on during times of isolation and despair.

But as Arthur recognizes, this kind of work isn’t only performed by professionals. In fact, the role of a death doula is something many find themselves performing informally for loved ones. Recognizing the importance of death literacy – understanding how to discuss and handle end-of-life issues – is crucial for living in a community. The skills and knowledge to support those nearing the end of life are invaluable, fostering a community environment where death is acknowledged openly and handled with care and respect.

The reality of caring for someone nearing the end of life can feel isolating, despite the shared nature of the experience. The intense personal and emotional challenges can make caregivers feel uniquely alone, underscoring the need for community support and understanding. This support isn’t merely about practical help but also about being present and responsive to the emotional and psychological needs of both the dying and their caregivers. In this Blink, we’ll be looking at how carers can go about this incredibly challenging – and rewarding – task.

Guiding a loved one through their death is a profound honor.

When someone is nearing the end of their life, they often embody the most intense and raw forms of their humanity. This includes their greatest virtues and their most challenging flaws. As individuals face their mortality, they aren’t just confronting their own death but are also grieving the imminent loss of everything familiar to them – their world, their relationships, and their memories. This profound sense of loss can manifest as a spectrum of emotions, from anger and frustration to fear, often intensified by the physical and psychological effects of illness.

Being present for someone in their final moments is a crucial form of support. It involves acknowledging their fear and emotional pain without taking it personally. This allows us to offer the grace and understanding they need as they navigate the complex feelings associated with dying. This process can be emotionally taxing not just for the dying but also for those around them, making it essential to practice self-compassion and patience.

Planning ahead lessens the load of surviving family members.

Starting conversations about end-of-life planning can be daunting, but it’s crucial for ensuring peace of mind and easing potential burdens on family members. Here’s a straightforward guide on how to begin these important discussions and ensure that your wishes are understood and respected.

First, it’s important to schedule a conversation. This might involve setting up a family meeting, either in person or through a digital platform like Zoom. Initiating this conversation can be as simple as referencing a current event or news story related to health issues, such as dementia, to underscore the importance of having these discussions sooner rather than later.

Compatibility is key to finding the right death doula.

Understanding and discussing death openly is crucial, yet many of us are not prepared for the reality that we will likely act as a death doula at some point in our lives. We exist in a community, and inevitably, we confront death within this circle. Someone close to us will pass away, and naturally, we will want to offer our support. This communal experience underlines the importance of having functional death literacy, which encompasses a broad set of skills.

These skills include active listening, an understanding of funeral services, and knowledge about legal and medical directives such as living wills, powers of attorney, and how to handle a person's possessions after death. Developing these competencies enables individuals to provide meaningful support during critical times, ensuring they can assist effectively when someone they care about is nearing the end of their life.

Death becomes less scary the more we talk about it.

Facing grief is an inevitable part of life. It finds its way through various facets of our lives, whether we choose to acknowledge it or not. Unaddressed, grief can manifest in work, relationships, addiction, or even physical illness.

Recognizing and addressing grief is crucial, as it resides within the body and will emerge, sometimes forcefully. Although confronting grief is challenging, it’s vital to remember that it’s a natural process. Every new day offers an opportunity to continue, to heal, and to grow.

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What is Briefly Perfectly Human about?

Briefly Perfectly Human (2024) explores the profound impact of confronting and understanding death on leading a more fulfilling and authentic life. Drawing on insights from America’s most visible death doula, it highlights the importance of discussing and preparing for the end of life while encouraging us to embrace mortality as a way to live more fully in the here and now.

Briefly Perfectly Human Review

Briefly Perfectly Human (2021) delves into what it means to be human through the lens of a death doula, Alua Arthur. Here's why this book is a gem:

Offers a unique perspective on mortality, prompting deep reflections on life's meaning and purpose.
Shares profound insights about death, expressing the beauty and importance of embracing our mortality.
Through poignant stories and wisdom, it celebrates our shared humanity, making each page thought-provoking and deeply moving.

Who should read Briefly Perfectly Human?

Individuals seeking deeper understanding of life through mortality awareness
Caregivers and health professionals interested in end-of-life care
Anyone looking for personal growth and transformative perspectives

About the Author

Alua Arthur is a death doula, a companion who supports and guides individuals and families through end-of-life experiences. She is the founder of Going with Grace, an organization that offers end-of-life planning services. Arthur’s TED Talk, “Why Thinking About Death Helps You Live a Better Life,” has garnered over 1.5 million views since its release in 2023. Arthur is also a regular guest on platforms like CBS’s “The Doctors” and Disney’s “Limitless” docu-series.

Categories with Briefly Perfectly Human

Health & Nutrition Mindfulness & Happiness Personal Development

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