The Lazy Genius Way Buchzusammenfassung - das Wichtigste aus The Lazy Genius Way

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Zusammenfassung von The Lazy Genius Way

Name: The Lazy Genius Way
Rating: 4.4 (267 reviews)
Author: Kendra Adachi

Kendra Adachi

Embrace What Matters, Ditch What Doesn't, and Get Stuff Done

4.4 (267 Bewertungen)

23 Min.

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Erfülltes Leben Selbsthilfe Stressreduktion

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The Lazy Genius Way
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Kernaussage 1 von 8

What’s in it for me? Learn how to focus on the things that actually matter.

We all know what it’s like to feel overwhelmed. As workers, we’re expected to excel. As parents, we’re expected to maintain an immaculate home, nurture our friendships, and still have time to post magazine-worthy Instagram pics.

No wonder that most people – and particularly women – feel so frazzled. We’re constantly trying to live up to impossibly high expectations in all areas of our lives.

Luckily, there is a way out. Instead of trying to live up to what everyone else expects of us, we can start to tune into our own needs and desires. We can put our energy and passion into the parts of our lives that really matter to us – and find easy shortcuts for the rest.

Using accessible, practical strategies, the following blinks will show you how to become a Lazy Genius. Along the way, you’ll learn how to slow down, abandon your perfectionist tendencies, and prioritize making connections with other people.

In these blinks, you’ll learn

why a clean house doesn’t always make for an inviting home;
how taking tiny steps can lead to big transformations; and
why self-care goes much deeper than bubble baths.

Being a perfectionist is exhausting and lonely – but there is another way.

Do you ever have the feeling that no matter how hard you try, you will never manage to live up to your own high standards?

That’s how the author, Kendra Adachi, felt for most of her life. She’d grown up in a home with an abusive father who was angry and unpredictable. In order to escape his wrath, she tried as hard as she could to do everything perfectly. Her room was always squeaky clean, and she was a straight-A student. But it was never enough — her father would find fault anyway. And it was exhausting because she constantly felt like she was failing.

It was also lonely. Adachi was trying so hard to be perfect that she wasn’t able to be vulnerable with the people she loved. No one knew that, behind her polished facade, she was actually struggling and in need of support.

The key message here is: Being a perfectionist is exhausting and lonely – but there is another way.

When Adachi moved away from home and started her first job, something snapped. Out in the real world, she had to deal with lots of new demands. When she discovered that she couldn’t immediately do everything perfectly, she decided she would just stop trying. She started acting as if she didn’t care at all. She allowed her house to become a messy pit, and stopped trying to cook for friends and excel at work. But she was still completely exhausted.

This is because she was still stuck in a perfectionist mindset. She was so scared of messing up that she’d simply substituted not trying at all for trying too hard. Neither of those modes was authentically her. Neither allowed her to follow her true dreams and passions. And even though on the outside it seemed that she had stopped caring, on the inside, she still cared deeply about what other people thought about her. No wonder she was so tired.

Luckily, Adachi managed to find a middle way, which she calls being a Lazy Genius. Instead of racing around trying to get everything right, she started tuning in to what really mattered – for her. Having a perfect house wasn’t so important. Having a place where people had space to connect with each other was. Spending lots of time weeding in her garden felt like a waste of time. But spending hours baking pies in the kitchen filled her with joy. She became her own compass, and developed a host of strategies to allow her to pursue what she loved – imperfectly.

Real transformation happens in small steps.

All of us have had the experience of being impatient because we couldn’t learn something fast enough.

That’s what happened to Adachi when she decided to take up yoga. She enrolled in a studio and signed up for three classes a week. She was motivated, and willing, and knew that yoga genuinely mattered to her. But a couple of weeks later, her practice had completely fizzled.

Making fixed decisions can bring calm and focus.

There’s a reason Mondays have such a bad reputation. It’s the time of the week when we feel like we have to start all over again after enjoying the brief lull of the weekend. It can be overwhelming to get back into the rat race of work, school, and countless appointments.

Adachi decided that she would tackle the problem of overwhelm by making some fixed decisions that she would repeat every week. For example, every Monday she would wear the same outfit, a standard black ensemble of jeans and a top. Immediately, she felt more in control. She could spring out of bed and get dressed without a second thought. That’s the power of fixed decisions: you don’t clutter your brain with unnecessary choices.

You can defuse stressful situations with a little planning.

So much of life can feel like putting out little fires. Take a seemingly harmless situation, such as picking up your kids from school. Suppose that, today, they’re hungry and grumpy. Normally you’d simply prepare them a snack at home. But you know your fridge is empty at the moment, so you’ll need to stop by the supermarket. However, right before you enter the supermarket, you realize you’ve left your wallet at home.

It’s in situations like these that we often find ourselves frazzled and overwhelmed. Luckily, there is a way to make these times of day less stressful. Simply ask yourself what Adachi describes as the Magic Question: “What can I do now to make life easier later?”

Introducing a few simple rules can transform your home.

Have you ever gone to someone’s house and been bombarded with so many rules about how to behave that you felt like you were walking on eggshells?

House rules are designed to create order in the home. But if they come at the cost of human connection, then they're distracting you from what really matters. On the other hand, having no rules can lead to so much chaos and clutter that you won’t be able to relax and enjoy being with your family.

In order to discover what’s important to you, you’ll need to take some time out.

So far, we've been talking a lot about living according to your own core values and needs, instead of trying to live up to some external standards or ideas about what you should be doing.

Living this way will allow you to essentialize: you’ll be able to identify what is essential to living a meaningful, satisfying life. Instead of running yourself ragged trying to do everything and be everything to everyone, you’ll be able to focus on what matters to you.

We can’t escape difficult situations, but we can change how we respond to them.

Our lives have different seasons, or phases. These seasons are influenced by the natural world, by the rhythms of jobs and school semesters, and by big events over which we often have no control. For example, the arrival of a new baby will completely change our priorities. Losing a job can spark the beginning of a new season of discovery as we search for work.

Some of these seasons are difficult, uncomfortable, and even painful. This is very subjective. While some new parents may feel they’re on cloud nine as they look after their newborn, others will experience that phase as lonely and frustrating. Both experiences are valid. Instead of comparing yourself to anyone else, you should acknowledge your own feelings and allow yourself to sit with them – even if it’s painful.

We need to become our own best friends – and then allow other people in.

All perfectionists are driven by an intense fear that they will fail. So they desperately try to fix and change themselves all the time.

Perfectionists often use self-development strategies as yet another stick to beat themselves with. You may even be tempted to do that with the strategies you’ve learned in these blinks. You may criticize yourself for not managing to implement all the good advice. Or you may wonder how you can use the Lazy Genius tactics to become a better version of yourself.

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Worum geht es in The Lazy Genius Way?

The Lazy Genius Way (2020) is an essential guide for perfectionists everywhere. We run ourselves ragged trying to excel at everything, but this leaves us exhausted and unfulfilled. Luckily, there is another way. We can identify what really makes our lives meaningful, and put our energy into leading lives that fulfill us. By adopting the practical strategies of the Lazy Genius, we can transform how we live and work, one small step at a time.

Wer The Lazy Genius Way lesen sollte

Perfectionists who want to learn how to relax
Working parents struggling to balance a busy life
Anyone overwhelmed by clutter

Über den Autor

Kendra Adachi is the founder of The Lazy Genius Collective. She also hosts The Lazy Genius Podcast, where she teaches listeners how to prioritize happiness and satisfaction in their lives – and get rid of harmful perfectionism.

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