Name: A Year of Self-Care
Rating: 4.3 (84 reviews)
Author: Dr. Zoe Shaw

What’s in it for me? Rediscover your love for yourself.

Self-care begins by asking the question: What does the most important relationship in your life look like – the one you have with yourself? Start by assessing how you talk to yourself. Is it with judgment, scorn, and anger, or with gentleness, compassion, and love?

Many of us operate from a frame of perfectionism – Type-As, go-getters, and high achievers are celebrated and fostered in a culture that prioritizes profit and hard work, often at the expense of our mental and emotional wellbeing. When we fall short of our unachievable standards, we may fall prone to judging every little thing we did “wrong,” when in reality, perhaps what you really need is some encouragement and celebration for all the things you did right.

Self-care begins with loving and encouraging yourself – rooting for yourself as you would for a child learning to take their first steps, or articulating their first words. Remember that learning, growth, and development are not fostered by harsh words of criticism, but rather by positive words of encouragement, appreciation, and reflection. All of the aggression that we direct at ourselves, we also direct at the world; likewise, all of the love we give ourselves also ripples out externally.

So buckle in for your year of self-care. The stakes are high, while the commitment can start small. See how 15 minutes a day can transform your relationship to yourself and your loved ones by decreasing illness, increasing confidence and resilience, and boosting your sense of serenity and power.

Reset, refresh, renew.

When we make the intention to reset our lives, we often make goals that last only a few weeks. Maybe you decided you’d stop smoking in January, but you’re puffing away again by mid February. Maybe you are in a caretaking role for your family, friends, or community, but realized the last person on your priorities has been yourself.

The truth is, if you don’t seriously take care of and advocate for yourself, others are unlikely to treat you as you’d like to be treated. Putting other people’s needs at the expense of your own may seem virtuous on paper, but this is only if you yourself are a healthy, whole being who is also taking care of you. Otherwise, you end up risking depletion, rejection, and burnout.

The good news is that it’s never too late to start investing in yourself by beginning to train your awareness of what self-care actually is and how to begin integrating daily rituals of it into your life. Self-care is not a Gwyneth Paltrow-inspired $1000 facial, though for some of you it might be! Rather, it is an everyday practice that shifts your mindset towards valuing yourself in profound and life-altering ways. As a practice, self-care doesn’t cost anything – but it is, like the classic Mastercard motto, priceless.

Self-care encompasses your spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical self, and caring for each of these parts of you with care. All valuable things and beings demand care, whether it’s an ancient ceramic vase, a house plant, your Goldendoodle, or yourself. Some require daily misting and cleaning, others a walk through the park or protection from the sun.

Self-care is about getting to know the person you are, and grasping a deeper sense of your inner world, resistances, fears, dreams, and desires. So let’s begin that journey to discovery now!

Take a risk and change your life.

One great way to get to know yourself in new and complex ways is to take yourself out to a museum, café, park, or restaurant. Maybe you have a new playlist or album you’ve been dying to listen to, or are craving silence. What about that new book you’ve been wanting to carve out space to read, or the cooking or dance class you promised yourself you’d sign up for? As adults, it’s easy to go down the path of least resistance and become increasingly closed off from things that don’t come naturally to us. If you didn’t grow up doing ballet, you might feel it’s impossible to start now – but why?

Think about those vulnerabilities and try to peel back the layers of thoughts and feelings behind each of them. Maybe you’re afraid of embarrassing yourself by doing something completely new. Maybe you’re used to hiding behind your computer or your work, but what is the worst thing that could happen if you got onto the stage, or sat quietly in a public place, or went into the unknown? Sign up for a hip hop class with a friend, or plan that solo trip to Paris. Anything, big or small, that you’ve thought about but recoiled from out of fear or judgment. What’s the worst that could happen if you embarrassed yourself over and over again?

Keep it simple.

What kind of home do you live in? Are your drawers filled with articles of clothing you don’t love but bought on sale? Or do you have a few select pieces that you turn to with pleasure again and again? How about your kitchen – do you have stacks of untouched dishes behind glass, or a couple sets of cherished plates and glasses that you eat and drink from regularly and with great joy?

Prioritizing simplicity isn’t about depriving yourself. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. When your life is littered with clutter, your desires, priorities, and needs become difficult to see behind the noise of all that stuff. It’s not just about material things: it’s also about relationships, feelings, habits, and thoughts that no longer serve a purpose, that we encourage you to trim and discard. This is a call to deep, honest, and sometimes difficult reflection on your needs and beliefs about yourself and your life.

Consider your relationship to discipline and boundaries.

If you’ve ever been one of those people who asks, “What’s the point of making my bed? I’m just going to be back in it in a few hours,” you’re not alone. But if you apply this logic to everything else in life, think about how we’d lack the will to do anything!

Take a moment to consider your relationship to discipline and boundaries. Start small – try making your bed like a guest you want to impress is coming, every day, for one week. Then keep going. You’ll see a difference in how this small act ripples out into the rest of your day, life, and week. Investing in the act of making your bed an inviting place to return to will make you feel like you can start the rest of your day with intention and attention. It’s likely that you’ll actually see your time expand by practicing small acts of discipline and setting boundaries. By making your bed, you’re marking time: Now it’s time to get up, have a strong black tea, and approach the tasks of the day.

Gratitude and affirmation can help you.

Gratitude is a life-saving practice year round, but especially during the end of the year as the holidays come around. Winter can be a challenging time, whether you’re spending it with loved ones or yourself. But even when you’re feeling low, practicing gratitude is a reminder to express appreciation for what you do have to feel fortunate for.

Everyone is dealt a different deck of cards throughout life. Sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down. You might get your dream job, then be cursed with a micro-managing boss. Maybe you land the apartment of your dreams, only to learn that it has an asbestos problem. You win some, you lose some.

Kernaussagen in A Year of Self-Care