The Imposter Cure summary

Anything that suggests achievement or approval can cause imposter syndrome. Why is it, then, that some people experience unease in these situations while others don't? Well, it depends on how you interpret your discomfort. When someone with imposter syndrome feels discomfort, they accept it as a sign of being a fake. They believe they're not good enough or are  unprepared for the challenge. But when someone with imposter syndrome succeeds, they feel that they must have tricked their way in – just like Poppy.

Poppy signed a book deal with her dream publisher. But then fear set in. What could she write? How many books would she sell? After all, unread books have no value. She misinterpreted her fear right from the start as it took hold of her. And it shifted her perspective. Every time she won, she moved the goalposts. Even when her first book was a success, she began the second book feeling exactly the same way.

People with imposter syndrome feel like they’re living a lie, so they devise ways to cope. These actions may help in the short term, but if you aren’t fake, these behaviors are part of the problem. That’s why imposters [people with imposter syndrome] should rethink their coping strategy and change how they see themselves. Secrets, overworking, avoidance, self-criticism, self-doubt, insecurity, perfectionism, and a fear of failing are all common ways to deal with stress. But in the long run, these stop you from improving your self-image. Accepting this allows you to make positive changes.

Picture William, a lawyer. He’s recently been promoted and has been given extra responsibilities. His workload is more than he expected and he soon realizes he’s not doing enough. His eczema flares up from the stress. Rather than admit the workload is the issue, he keeps quiet – after all, he can simply work more hours. And if he doesn’t? Well, he’s afraid a rival will replace him. Soon, William is working or sleeping at weekends, too, rather than relaxing or spending time with his family.

Sometimes it’s hard to be your own cheerleader. Your inner voice can be harsh. Worse still, you might not even realize it. This kind of self-criticism can hold you back. To get past this, be kind to yourself and have faith in your abilities. 

Think of a time when you had to do something difficult. Who was there to encourage you? Did they judge you when they noticed you were in trouble? Probably not. Similarly, the voice inside your head should be your biggest fan, not your harshest critic.

Matilda loved the theater. As a child, she’d sit in the front row of a play, enthralled. So when the opportunity to attend drama school arose, she jumped at it. She was taken aback by her classmates’ talent – everyone seemed better than her. With determination, she caught up. Her effort paid off and she landed the lead role in a show. Even so, she felt inferior. She was constantly comparing herself to others. As time went by, she couldn’t face the pressure.

So what went wrong? Well, Matilda was unaware that perfectionism is about overcoming feelings of inadequacy. It feeds you insecurities, which can lead to overwork or avoidance. Like any other habit, it promises to make you feel better. Yet, the more you strive for perfection, the less you enjoy the task. So instead, you work even harder and try to achieve more.

Time is one of our most valuable commodities, so we need to choose how we use it wisely. To live your life to the fullest, reconsider how much you try to cram into a week. Perhaps it’s time for you to stop overworking and start thinking about a more sustainable path. To start reclaiming your life, you need to reassess your situation and deal with overwork and avoidance. Only then can you start to enjoy life again.

Your first step is to make yourself your priority. Set boundaries and try not to always favor the needs of others over your own. Take breaks. Delegate. When you try to do everything yourself, you simply set yourself up for failure. Be honest and open about your workload. Keep requests and commitments to a minimum. And tell others if you think you have too much to do. Most importantly, practice saying no.

Combatting imposter syndrome means becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable. While it may be tempting to avoid new experiences, try to embrace the unknown. Push yourself to grow. As a result, you'll become more resilient and self-assured.

Look out for signs of perfectionism, self-doubt, self-criticism, avoidance, and overwork. Check to see if you've made necessary changes and if there’s anything else you need to work on.