Fired Up summary

Let’s begin figuring out what your fire is. And we’ll start with a process of elimination, by clearing away the mental clutter and identifying what isn’t your fire.

It’s important to keep in mind a couple things. Your fire isn’t a fixed goal or destination; and it’s not about accepting what you “should” be doing. Finding your fire isn’t to say to yourself, “I’m going to become a best-selling author” or “I’m going to start a six-figure business.” Your fire is more like a mindset, a way of being that’s fueled by curiosity, intention, and self-awareness. It’s how you move through the world.

As we saw earlier, the author Watts had a breakthrough when she started journaling, realizing she had to change her life. Unfortunately, that realization didn’t come with a clean, five-step plan. In fact, what followed wasn’t pretty at all. She got divorced, quit her job, and tried out new ventures that often failed. But each risk, each uncomfortable step, led her to what she now calls the fire formula.

The fire formula is grounded in a practical metaphor: what it takes to build an actual fire. You need heat, oxygen, and fuel. Heat comes from your desires – the passions that keep tugging at you, the issues or ideas that make you feel lit up or even angry. Oxygen is what keeps your fire burning steadily over time. It’s your core values, like integrity, empathy, and courage – the ones that shape how you move through the world. And then there’s fuel: your talents, strengths, and skills – the things that help you turn desire into reality.

Starting something new can feel exhilarating. You’ve got energy, drive, maybe even a bit of swagger. But fair warning: after the initial spark, there’s going to be a long stretch where you might find self-doubt creeping in.

Watts calls it “the messy middle.” It’s that space between the hopeful beginning and the rewarding finish – when you’re deep in it, but can’t yet see the results. It’s frustrating, it’s exhausting, and it’s completely normal.

Let’s talk a little bit about protecting your fire. If you’re a woman who is stepping out of the narrow lane that society has set aside for you, there’s a good chance you’re going to receive some blowback. You may find that even friends and family cop a judgemental attitude when you’re deviating from the norms and not prioritizing things the way women are expected to.

That stings. When your choices are suddenly under a microscope, the disapproval can mess with your head. It can spark guilt, shame, and self-doubt – what Watts calls “extinguisher emotions” – that slowly chip away at your confidence and dim your fire. But the truth is: blowback isn’t personal. Rather, it’s predictable. If people are reacting, it means you’re shaking things up – and that’s the whole point, right?

We’ve talked about protecting your fire. But what about when you need to let it burn out? Let’s look at why that’s not just okay, but at times absolutely necessary.

For Watts, this moment became apparent when she was standing in the White House Rose Garden after helping pass the first significant federal gun safety law in decades. After eleven years of activism, organizing, and relentless work, her inner voice was saying: “This is the end of this fire.”