Fear Less summary

The phone rings. When you pick it up, you hear “I’m afraid I have some bad news.” The panic is like an electric shock pulsing through you – it’s raw, animal fear. We all feel this way when we’re scared. But why do we react so strongly?

Your body is primed for fear. When you sense danger, your neural network goes into overdrive. The fear reaction begins in a part of the brain called the amygdala, which activates the fight-or-flight response. Without this reaction, the human race would have died out long ago.

Take a deep breath. Now hold it for four minutes as you dive into the depths of the ocean without any equipment. This is the amazing feat achieved by William Trubridge, a free-diving world champion. On a dive in the Bahamas, he reached a depth equivalent to twice the height of the Statue of Liberty.

Free diving isn’t a sport for the fainthearted. You’re alone in the ocean, more than 80 meters below the surface, relying on the power of your body and breath. It requires incredible psychological resilience.

Fear is a natural part of human experience and can’t be avoided completely. But some fears are unnecessary and irrational. They may also be subtle, working below the surface to steal your sense of joy and satisfaction.

Jake, a successful athlete, lived in fear for many years without consciously realizing that he was afraid. All he knew was that he was ashamed of his sexuality and determined to keep it private. Nobody knew that he was gay, and nobody was allowed to get too close. He kept his distance from his teammates, his friends, and his family. Jake’s girlfriend complained that he was moody and closed-off. Eventually, she left him.

Are you different from your friends? Or are you the black sheep of the family? We give ourselves labels and tell ourselves stories all the time until they seem true. For instance, if you repeatedly tell yourself “It’s not worth trying,” you’ll believe it.

These negative stories are often the cause of our fears and anxieties. Luckily, there’s a solution. With a new story, you can create a new reality.

Khalida Popal grew up in a climate of fear. When she was nine years old and living in Kabul, the Taliban announced that girls should no longer go to school. Women effectively had no rights. They couldn’t work or study, and they couldn’t even leave the house without a man.

One of Popal’s greatest frustrations was being prevented from pursuing her passion – soccer. When she played she was told that she was bringing shame on her family, just because she was a girl. But as she got older, her fear and anger fueled her mission.

The Romantic poet John Keats – who certainly knew a thing or two about suffering – was able to accept the reality of life. He once wrote, “Do you not see how necessary a world of pains and trouble is to school an intelligence and make it a soul?”

Struggle and suffering are part of life. It’s not realistic to expect to be happy and comfortable all the time. Our struggles also allow us to learn and grow.