The No Asshole Rule summary

Lots of workplaces tolerate poor behavior without realizing the damage it causes.

In offices where assholes go unchallenged, employee morale is undeniably lower than in comparable workplaces which maintain a friendly, respectful and professional atmosphere.

All too often assholes are tolerated in the workplace. Their temper tantrums and spitefulness are put down to character flaws and excused because they are talented, smart, or difficult to replace.

But in doing so, businesses are effectively hurting themselves; all assholes should be weeded out from the workforce from the very beginning.

Studies have repeatedly shown that people given higher status are more likely to behave like assholes. They talk more than others, take what they want without considering the people around them; in general they tend to see others just as a means to an end and take personal credit for a group success.

One such study had groups of three students discuss various issues. One student per group had been randomly chosen to rate the others’ arguments. The results were that these more powerful students tended to break social conventions more frequently. This was measured by providing a shared plate of cookies; the higher-status students were more likely to take the last cookie, chew with their mouth open and leave more crumbs behind.

Every office worker knows that groups of managers can be pretty similar to groups of baboons. There are fierce rivalries between competing managers, and the most aggressive one often wins.

The interesting thing is that people who act aggressively and recklessly at work are often regarded not only as cold and unpleasant but also as competent and resourceful.

The business world is a cut-throat place; competition between firms is fierce and unending. This attitude is all too often carried over into companies’ internal cultures.

Naturally, healthy competition between individuals can be good for a company; ambition is a great way to motivate employees to greater efforts, to take risks, and to come up with new ideas. It also helps to select the best candidates for promotion.

Being an asshole is highly contagious.

Just as the proverb says “Lie down with dogs and you’ll rise with fleas,” simply being around angry and aggressive people noticeably alters your mood and behavior. If you find yourself working in a rude and disrespectful culture, you soon get used to rudeness and lack of respect, and gradually come to display both towards others. This behavior also has a way of creeping into private life and so has consequences far beyond the business world.

In many workplaces it’s impossible to completely avoid contact with assholes. Working with, or worse, under an asshole can be very demoralizing, even if you don’t realize at first how much stress it actually causes, so it’s very important to have a good strategy to allow you to get through the day unscathed.

Generally, the most important thing is not to let an asshole drag you down to his level. It’s difficult, but try to remain calm, don’t respond to aggression with more aggression, and keep as much distance as possible between yourself and any hurtful things being said. It may help to remind yourself that the person you’re dealing with is just an asshole, no matter how senior they may be.

Everyone knows that it only takes one asshole to ruin a conversation, whether in the office, at a party or just in everyday life. Even if everyone else is behaving normally, one asshole can spoil the mood.

Negative things affect our mood five times more than positives, meaning that meeting five nice people who compliment you and bring you good news might easily be neutralized by encountering one single asshole.