Jerks at Work summary

Before Tessa West became a social psychologist, she was a salesperson at a high-end department store. There, she had the misfortune of working with another salesperson named Dave. Whenever the manager was around, Dave acted like a model employee. But the moment the manager left, Dave’s true colors came out. He was viciously competitive — not only stealing his colleagues’ customers, but rearranging and hiding the items they needed in the storage room, making it harder for them to complete their sales. 

Dave is a classic example of the first type of jerk you might encounter at work: a kiss up/kick downer. He “kisses up” to those above him — acting polite, offering to do favors, charming their socks off, and trying to cozy up to them outside of work. In contrast, he “kicks down” people at the same level or below him in the workplace hierarchy — trying to undermine them and make them look bad in any way he can get away with. 

If this sounds like something that’s happening to you at work, the first thing you should do is make sure you’re not just being oversensitive and confirm the person is actually being a jerk. To do this, find someone who is socially well-connected and knows “what’s up” at your workplace. Ask them a question like “Have you heard anything good or bad about Dave?” 

If they confirm that you are indeed dealing with a jerk, try to find other victims and collect their testimonies about his behavior. To keep things professional, just ask your colleagues neutral questions, like “have you worked much with Dave? What’s that been like?” 

Meanwhile, try to put as much space between you and the kiss up/kick downer as possible. Think about when and  where you encounter him and how you can minimize contact. It could be something as simple as changing seats at a meeting or avoiding the coffee machine at a certain time. 

When you’re ready to present your manager with your case against the jerk, remember: thanks to all that kissing up he does, your manager probably thinks highly of him, so you need to approach the issue diplomatically. Begin by acknowledging the jerk’s strengths, and then focus on his negative behaviors and how they’re impacting you and your colleagues. 

Then, all that’s left to do is wait and be patient. It may take some time and behind-the-scenes action for your manager to deal with the jerk, so don’t expect an instant solution.