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Blink 3 of 8 - The 5 AM Club
by Robin Sharma
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The Urgent Life summary
Bozoma Saint John
My Story of Love, Loss, and Survival
16 mins
Table of Contents
The Urgent Life
Summary of 6 key ideas
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Key idea 1 of 6
Lesson number one: Pick up that phone.
One night, during college, Bozoma heard the shrill ring of her phone just as she was leaving her apartment. She knew who it was. Ben, her college boyfriend, had been spiraling — he was plagued by jealous delusions in which he imagined she was going out with other people. He was filled with self-loathing and despair, and nothing Bozoma did was enough to talk him out of that misery.
That night, she wasn’t up to having another painful conversation in which she defended herself about the supposed crimes she’d never committed. In fact, she was going out to have dinner with some girlfriends because she needed some support herself. So, she ignored the ringing phone, picked up her handbag, and walked out the door.
That moment was one that stays burned in her brain. Because Ben took his own life that night, jumping off a bridge near his apartment in Toronto.
With years of distance, and therapy, Saint John understands intellectually that there’s nothing she could have done to prevent his death. That his suicide was not her responsibility. But, still, nothing can stop her from replaying that moment in her mind. From putting down her bag, picking up the phone, and having one last conversation with Ben.
Ben’s death is one of those losses that has created an indelible scar. Even as Saint John has left college behind her, she still carries Ben with her. And the lesson she has taken from his death is that she always picks up that phone. She doesn’t wait to tell people she loves them. She doesn’t hold back when expressing her emotions. She doesn’t delay the trip, the hug, the celebration. She knows that there aren’t always second chances. Sometimes, you get just one.
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What is The Urgent Life about?
The Urgent Life (2023) is part-memoir, part-manifesto to the importance of showing up in your life, and being fiercely present – no matter the circumstances. Bozoma Saint John has experienced both highs and lows in the course of her life. Through it all, she has learned to stay true to herself and her dreams, and to live as if nothing is guaranteed. In The Urgent Life, she describes the events that have most impacted her, and shares how you, too, can live life with passionate urgency.
Who should read The Urgent Life?
- People who are hungry to live more boldly,
- Young professionals looking for inspiration on how to navigate the corporate ladder authentically.
- Anyone who has experienced loss, and is figuring out how to carry on.
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