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Zusammenfassung von Don't Take Yes for an Answer

Name: Don't Take Yes for an Answer
Rating: 4.5 (85 reviews)
Author: Steve Herz

Steve Herz

Using Authority, Warmth, and Energy to Get Exceptional Results

4.5 (85 Bewertungen)

23 Min.

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Don't Take Yes for an Answer
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Kernaussage 1 von 8

What’s in it for me? Lift yourself from mediocrity and achieve your professional breakthrough.

Are you tired of seeing other people get promoted over you, or others landing that job you wanted? If you’re just as qualified and experienced as your competitors, you’re probably baffled about why this keeps happening. It’s even more confusing if your manager repeatedly tells you that she’s happy with your work.

What’s likely missing from your skill set are three tools that set you apart as a leader. These tools let you communicate effectively while building trust, so you can sell yourself and your ideas to others.

In these blinks, you’ll learn techniques to demonstrate these three tools. Once you’ve mastered them, you’ll lift yourself from mediocrity and reach your full potential.

In these blinks, you’ll discover

why praise isn’t always helpful;
what the song Stairway to Heaven can teach you about influencing others; and
the secret ingredient that gives you confidence and draws people to you.

The impression you make on others is more important than your technical know-how.

What do actress Lucille Ball, designer Ralph Lauren, and British King George VI have in common? Well, they all realized that something was preventing them from reaching their full potential. And importantly, they took steps to overcome that obstacle so they could succeed.

Lucille Ball changed her hair color from brown to red, giving herself an iconic look. Ralph Lauren changed his surname from Lifshitz. And King George VI hired a speech therapist to eliminate his stutter. These changes vary in significance, but they’re all the result of the same truth. Whether it’s fair or not, first impressions count.

The key message here is: The impression you make on others is more important than your technical know-how.

Sometimes, what holds you back isn’t as obvious as a surname that sounds like a profanity. You can have the right education, credentials, and network, and still consistently miss out on that promotion you long for.

If you’re in this situation, your lack of progress probably has nothing to do with your technical skills, and everything to do with the impression you make. According to research conducted by the Carnegie Foundation, when it comes to success, your ability to connect with others is 85 percent more important than your know-how.

If you come across as timid, unconfident, aggressive, or flat, it won’t matter how brilliant you are. You simply won’t be viewed as a leader who can effectively engage with others. And that means you’ll never move up the ladder.

Similarly, if you don’t know how to communicate your message effectively, people won’t see the value in your ideas. It’s a bit like if you were making an important presentation, but you happened to have a piece of spinach stuck between your teeth. No one will listen to what you have to say; all they’ll pay attention to is that piece of spinach.

Luckily, you can learn skills that will transform you into the most compelling person in the room using the AWE technique. It combines authority, warmth, and energy to help you engage people from the moment they meet you. That way, you can create an authentic and compelling first impression.

We’ll look at each aspect of AWE in the blinks ahead. But first, it’s time to take a good, long look in the mirror.

Western culture is feedback-averse.

Ina was a senior executive for a midsize organization. It was her job to make investment recommendations to the executive team. She was technically competent and a hard worker. But her presentation skills were abysmal. Her delivery was so flat that no one trusted her judgment. And millions of dollars were at stake.

Author Steve Herz was called in to coach her, but Ina wasn’t committed to the process. And you couldn’t blame her. No one had told her that her communication skills needed to improve, so she saw the training as a low priority. If management had been upfront, Ina may have taken their feedback seriously. Instead, she ended up losing her job without understanding why.

Your voice is a tool you can use to embody authority.

History is full of great leaders who knew how to rouse the masses. Winston Churchill’s stirring addresses carried Britain through World War II. Mahatma Gandhi’s calm determination led to India’s independence. And recordings of Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech continue to inspire people to fight for civil rights.

What makes leaders like this so compelling is their deep belief in their cause. Their delivery styles vary, but they all understand that you can win people’s trust when you communicate with clarity and confidence. And once you have their trust, you can influence them to follow you.

To convey authority, work on your presence.

Steve Jobs is renowned for transforming a nearly-insolvent Apple into one of the most successful global brands. Jobs had an authoritative presence, and he evoked it without ever wearing a suit. His trademark ensemble of wire-rimmed glasses, a black turtleneck, jeans, and sneakers made him relatable to his audience. Tech-obsessed Apple users around the world saw themselves in his geeky ensemble.

But Jobs’ air of authority didn’t rely solely on his wardrobe. He also knew how to carry his body. From his commanding gait to his upright posture, Jobs presented himself as a leader. And this, combined with his understanding of how to win people’s trust and respect, elevated him to celebrity status.

Without warmth, authority means nothing.

Some time ago, the author was in his first year of running IF Management – a talent agency for news journalists. At this point, he was busy building his reputation and client list. One day, an ambitious, young newscaster contacted him, looking for representation. When she came to the office, he saw that she had huge potential. So he tried his best to impress her with his most interesting stories. He was sure they’d hit it off.

But after the meeting, the author’s colleague predicted they’d never hear from the newscaster again. And he was right. Instead of having a conversation about the newscaster’s career, Herz had delivered a monologue about himself. He’d exhibited authority but had shown no warmth, which meant he’d failed to connect.

To create warmth, give your full attention to other people.

NBC’s Today show weatherman – Al Roker – is the epitome of warmth. Open and relaxed, his friendly smile quickly puts people at ease. But it’s more than just that.

The author once shared office space with Roker in Manhattan’s legendary Fisk building. At that point, Roker was already a household name. But he still made the author feel like the most important person in the room. But Herz noticed this wasn’t special treatment. Roker gave this kind of attention to everyone he met. And it made him universally loved.

Energy equals influence.

In his first year of studying law at Vanderbilt University, the author took a mandatory constitutional law class. This course was notoriously dry. But that year, a new professor called Barry Friedman taught the class. And he was captivating. Despite his slight stature, Friedman owned the room. He knew how to build a story around his content, and how to deliver that story compellingly.

Every class was an immersive experience. Moving around the lecture hall, Friedman started slow and built to a crescendo. It was like listening to Led Zeppelin’s Stairway to Heaven. With energy buzzing through him, Friedman roused the class by illustrating how constitutional law influenced their everyday lives. He was so inspiring that Herz signed up for every one of his classes.

To use energy effectively, focus on the needs of others.

Imagine you’re about to give a speech to a large audience. As you nervously wait to be called on stage, thoughts about failure run through your head. What if you make a mistake? What if you get stage fright? What will people think of you?

You step out onto the stage, and you feel your hands and knees shaking. There’s a noticeable wobble in your voice. You’re starting to sweat. You’re so hounded by fears of being judged that you can barely stumble through your speech.

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Worum geht es in Don't Take Yes for an Answer?

Don’t Take Yes for an Answer (2020) identifies why some people consistently achieve career breakthroughs, while others struggle to reach their potential. By adopting an attitude of continual self-improvement and learning three crucial communication skills, you can achieve exceptional results, regardless of your field.

Bestes Zitat aus Don't Take Yes for an Answer

When you embody authority, people invite you into the discussion and into the room.

—Steve Herz

Wer Don't Take Yes for an Answer lesen sollte

Ambitious employees who are trying to land promotions
Underdogs seeking a breakthrough
Aspiring advocates who want to inspire others

Über den Autor

Steve Herz is a talent agent, career advisor, and president of The Montag Group – a consultancy committed to continuous professional improvement. Prior to joining The Montag Group, Herz represented over 200 television and radio personalities, through his company, IF Management.

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