Supercoach summary

Have you ever felt like life is just happening to you, rather than feeling in control of your own destiny? What if you had the power to shape your reality through the art of make-believe? 

As children, we intuitively understood the joy and creative potential of make-believe. But somewhere along the way, most of us “got real.” That is, we bought into the notion that our objective circumstances define us. We started seeing ourselves as subject to outside forces beyond our control – as victims, in a way. But what if we could reclaim the power of our imagination?

What we believe tends to become true for us. Our beliefs act as self-fulfilling prophecies, filtering our perceptions and shaping our actions. For example, Thandie believes he’s socially awkward, so at parties he holds back and avoids mingling, confirming his belief that socializing is painful. Meanwhile, Ling believes she can connect with anyone – and so she dives into conversations with ease, reinforcing her confidence. Two people can experience the exact same situation very differently, depending on the thoughts and meanings they assign to it. “Change your thoughts, change your world,” as the saying goes.

So how do we change our thoughts? By deliberately choosing to “make believe” new empowering ones, even before we fully believe them. And by acting as though they’re already true. 

Here’s how it works: First, identify an area of life you’d like to transform – such as relationships, career or health. Write down how you’d like to feel and what you’d love to create. Next, brainstorm some beliefs that would support you if you truly held them, even if they feel like a stretch now. For example, if your goal is to become the top-selling salesperson at your company, your supporting belief might be “Selling is easy and fun for me.”

Write these new beliefs down. Repeat them to yourself daily with enthusiasm and conviction. Vividly imagine how you’d think and behave differently if you fully embraced them. Additionally, gather evidence to support them, even if you need to start small. You can do this by using the format, “Selling is easy and fun for me. I know this is true for me because …” – and then fill in the blank with something that happened that day.

Next, take actions that align with the belief. Ask yourself the question “If I knew my belief was true, how would I behave?” Write down your answers. Then start behaving that way.

Reclaiming the power of make-believe isn’t about positive thinking or denying difficulties. It’s about becoming conscious of the stories you tell yourself, and intentionally choosing ones that are both true and empowering. So if your current life story isn’t to your liking, know that you can change it – one thought, one belief, one action at a time. When it comes to the movie of your life, you are the screenwriter, director, and star. Make it a great one.