Nine Nasty Words summary

In the 1930s, the lexicographer Allen Walker Read declared that fuck carried the deepest stigma of any word in the English language. And it’s true. In the early twentieth century, the so-called f-word had a notorious aura of transgression.

But in the Middle Ages, things were different. Official records from the eleventh and twelfth centuries speak of upstanding citizens such as Roger Fuckbythenavel, Simon Fuckbutter, and, of course, the honorable Henry Fuckbeggar, a prized member of Edward I’s inner circle.

On the surface, science and shit are almost diametrically opposed. While the former describes the rigorous process of using empirical data to understand the world, the latter refers to a more base biological function.

Yet these two terms share a common origin. Millennia ago, a language spoken in what is now Ukraine had the word skei, meaning “to cut off” or “slice.” Over time, skei spread around Europe. Latin speakers adopted it as sci, which came to be the root of “to know,” as one gained knowledge by cutting up the world for analysis. Thus, science. 

Flip on the radio and it won’t be long until you hear some libertine MC or lascivious diva extolling the virtues of a certain body part. Some will cheekily declare that “baby’s got back,” while others will simply explicitly direct you to “shake your ass.”

Of course, this freewheeling appreciation of the ass is relatively new. Even a mere century ago, people would go to great lengths to avoid uttering the word ass. More prim speakers might gesture vaguely to backsides or rumps, opt for the sartorial term seat, or, if especially cultured, revert to foreign vocabulary like the French derrière.

In 2006, comedian Michael Richards was riding high off the success of Seinfeld, in which he played the lovable oaf Kramer. However, all his accumulated goodwill could not withstand one seriously dismal stand-up performance.

What happened was this: While on stage, Richards attempted to dispatch a heckler by delivering a caustic riff. In an unhinged and horrid retort, he repeatedly said the N-word. Yes, that N-word. Afterward, the comedian apologized and tried to mitigate the outburst as a joke gone horribly wrong. The public was unforgiving, and the incident essentially ended his career.

It’s often said that the United States and the United Kingdom are two countries separated by a common language. While both nations predominantly use English, there remain major differences in how that tongue is wielded. Americans ride the elevator, while Brits ascend in lifts, for instance.

Perhaps the strangest example of this divide is the varied meaning of the f-word. No, not the four-letter f-bomb that we discussed in blink 2 – the other f-word. In the UK, this word is on the menu – it refers to a dish of chopped pork wrapped in bacon. And, if you wanted to have a smoke after the meal, you might also use a shortened version of this word to refer to your cigarette.

The year is 1397. Somewhere in the British Isles, a pregnant dog gives birth to a litter of puppies. Unfortunately, the young pups are all blind. A local scribe records the event in the town’s annals. Dutifully, he notes, “the bytche bringeth forth blynde whelpes.”

Around the same time period, a stage play features two women in a heated argument. One leading lady dismisses the other with a biting remark. She ruefully asks, “Whom calleste thou queine, skabde biche?” Or, as we would say, “Who are you calling queen, miserable bitch?”