Name: Coming Alive
Rating: 3.3 (44 reviews)
Author: Barry Michels and Phil Stutz

What’s in it for me? Unlock more energy and defeat your inner demons to transform your life.

As children, we effortlessly ride waves of boundless energy. However, as we grow older, this once-endless source of vitality starts to dwindle and stagnate. Emotional barriers form, stifling our progress and robbing us of happiness. Fortunately, the energy we need to overcome these obstacles is still present. Authors Barry Michels and Phil Stutz call it our Life Force.

Don’t worry if you feel skeptical – that’s what they call Part X. Part X is a dynamic opponent with its own agenda. It is negative energy that prevents us from being and doing our best. It can even convince us that we have no control over our actions.

In this Blink to Coming Alive, you’ll learn how to reclaim your Life Force and defeat Part X through four powerful psychological tools that target the negative habits, attitudes, and behaviors hindering your personal growth. By integrating these methods into your daily routine, you will be able to break free from the cycle of self-sabotage and create a more fulfilling and positive life.

Fight Part X to increase your Life Force.

Sarah had struggled emotionally for some time. Though she hadn’t named them, she was mindful of two opposing forces and their impact on her well-being. But she was determined to stay in control today. With each step she took on her run, Sarah drew strength from within. As the cool breeze gently caressed her skin and birdsong filled the air around her, she felt a sense of calm and inner peace. Rather than letting thoughts about her daily challenges bring her down, she confidently tackled them head-on.

Part X, the dangerous and disruptive power, greeted Sarah when she returned home. Tempted to slump onto her sofa and dive into social media, Sarah recognized the slippery slope of distraction. She turned off her phone, resisting its pull, and picked up a book instead.

So, what’s the problem with giving in to our cravings? Nothing in and of itself. Except that Part X isn’t just passing through. It is a constant force that preys on complacency and thirsts for unhappiness. Sarah chose to exercise. While resting, she decided to read something nourishing.

Sarah recognizes Part X's influence and prefers to feed the Life Force, embracing hope and possibility. She realizes that to grow and thrive in life, she must consistently work to improve her physical and mental health. So how can you do the same?

First, you need to figure out what your Part X is. Is it a feeling of loneliness? Or the fear of trying new things? Maybe you’re scared of starting a relationship. Part X is a formidable foe. It will always push its worldview and go to any length to get you to give up. It excels at deception. And there’s more bad news: permanently defeating Part X is impossible. Every goal has an obstacle, so this is a lifelong battle.

But the good news is, once you’ve identified Part X by name, you can fight it. And you can break its hold through the specific tools laid out in this Blink.

If you want to increase your Life Force, you must develop a level of energy you never imagined possible. And your strength will come from the choices you make. This starts with self-control, which we’ll discuss next.

Use the Black Sun technique to control your impulses.

After a long day at work, Chris arrives home feeling stressed and restless. All he can think of is going to the local bar. But Chris has been trying to cut back on his boozing as it’s been affecting his health and relationships. He uses the Black Sun tool to help him resist the urge to drink.

First, Chris sits on his couch, closes his eyes, and takes deep breaths. Next, he focuses on the feeling of denial. He feels the urge to quit this feeling, but he resists and stays still. Finally, seeing nothing, he accepts this emptiness.

Tap into unlimited energy with the Vortex tool.

Now that you have a better grip on self-control, it’s time to focus on rediscovering your energy levels. Have you ever woken up feeling like you can’t catch a break? Despite a whole night’s sleep, you feel like an old, dusty car with a dying battery. Why is that? Put simply, inertia.

Inertia is an object’s resistance to changing its state of motion. In other words, it’s easier for us to keep doing what we’re doing. Inertia can hinder personal and professional progress. If we stop entirely and hide from the world, our problems get worse. So to overcome inertia, we need energy. You might feel like you can’t work any harder, which may be true regarding physical energy. However, there is also spiritual energy, which is infinite.

Use the Mother tool to overcome demoralization.

It’s the worst day of Steven’s life. One month ago, his girlfriend broke up with him, and now he’s just lost his job. Sitting on the curb, he feels hopelessness creeping in. Steve is usually upbeat and optimistic, but now he can’t see a way out of this dark place. At 36 years old, he’s never felt so empty.

So how can Steve improve his situation? First, he needs to accept a brutal truth.

Transform pain into strength with the Tower method.

Are you feeling paralyzed by painful memories? Imagine if there were a way to transform that pain into strength and face life's challenges with renewed vigor. That is where the Tower method comes in.

Think about a time when someone really hurt your feelings. Let the pain surface and intensify. Now imagine the pain breaking your heart and killing you. You are frozen. But this is not the end of the story.

Key ideas in Coming Alive