Professional Troublemaker summary

So, you’ve developed a strong sense of your unique identity. You’ve even written your Game of Thrones–style oríkì to ground yourself. But you’re still feeling reserved – like you can’t be yourself, right? In fact, you still feel odd. Like, what if you’re just “too much”?

It’s a common enough complaint. People tell you you’re too something – too loud, too bossy, too sensitive. It’s an accusation of excess that isn’t just observational. People are actually asking you to change. And unfortunately, you probably do despite any negative impact on yourself. 

Here’s a fact for you: According to a University of Massachusetts study, the average person lies at least once in a single ten-minute conversation.

Why? Well, it’s not because we’re all compulsive liars. It’s because dishonesty often leads to harmony. We simply don’t want to rock the boat, and we don’t want to get into trouble.

Does losing control scare you? Perhaps you imagine the worst when things are out of your hands. Of course your colleague will mess up that important presentation. There’s no doubt that your spouse will forget to pick up the dry cleaning again. It probably seems that you’d be better off taking care of everything yourself.

But the problem is that the world doesn’t work like that. Nobody can be entirely self-reliant – especially not if they want to sleep, relax, and enjoy life from time to time.

If you’re like most people, you probably don't like to ruffle people’s feathers. After all, when you annoy someone, you run the risk of being ostracized – and who likes being left out? So, you probably try to stay on other people’s good sides as long as possible by being nice.

For the most part, trying to be nice could be considered harmless – even beneficial. At least it makes your social interactions flow smoothly. But, in reality, being nice gets in your way. It pulls your focus to what others want and stifles your own voice. You willingly turn a blind eye to poor treatment, like being disrespected or neglected. And rather than potentially upsetting anyone, you let serious problems fester for far too long.

Did you know that the worst punishment in prison is solitary confinement? There’s a reason for that; spending extended periods alone goes against our basic need for human interaction. We’re company-keepers by nature, so isolation hurts.

All the same, many of us actually pride ourselves on being self-proclaimed “lone wolves.” The idea of tackling life’s adventures on our own appeals to our sense of independence – and our vanity.