Out of Character Book Summary - Out of Character Book explained in key points

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Out of Character summary

Name: Out of Character
Rating: 4.1 (36 reviews)
Author: David DeSteno and Piercarlo Valdesolo

David DeSteno and Piercarlo Valdesolo

Surprising Truths about the Liar, Cheat, Sinner (and Saint) Lurking in All of Us

4.1 (36 ratings)

17 mins

What is Out of Character about?

Out of Character (2011), introduces a more flexible idea about character that goes beyond the classic dichotomy of the saint and the sinner. These blinks use psychological experiments to demonstrate how many of the traits we consider fixed are prone to influence by outside events, often in surprising ways.

Table of Contents

Out of Character
summarized in 8 key ideas

Audio & text in the Blinkist app

Key idea 1 of 8

What’s in it for me? Learn why there is a cheater in every saint.

If there’s one thing we humans like it’s putting things into neat little boxes. This is especially true with the way we look at people around us. We observe how they behave and conclude that one person’s a cheater, another’s a drunk, and another’s a gambler.

However, as these blinks will show you, the idea of anyone having a fixed character in this way is deeply flawed. Under the right – or wrong – circumstances we can all change and become a seemingly different person. This shouldn’t surprise us. A wealth of psychological experiments have shown that our perceptions and behaviors are influenced in sometimes surprising ways by a number of factors.

In these blinks, you’ll learn

what ants and grasshoppers have to do with character;
why women should trust their noses more; and
how good posture can work miracles for your social status.

Character is the product of dueling forces in every moment.

Have you ever wondered about the origins of the word character? Actually it comes from an ancient Greek word that referred to the indelible marks pressed into coins to differentiate them. However, the nature of character is anything but fixed and eternal. So when people act “out of character” they are often just expressing a part of their true nature.

In fact, character is really quite flexible and it’s common for people to behave differently at different times since each of us contains both vice and virtue. This divide is classically depicted as a battle of opposing ideas within each of our minds: the proverbial angel and devil on our shoulders. These forces are seen as guiding our actions and early on each person is swayed more by one than the other.

However, the duality of angel and devil is problematic for three reasons:

First, it’s too simplistic to think that each of us is guided by only a good and a bad force. In reality, the powers that influence our behaviors are much more nuanced.

Second, it’s not possible to be certain about which side to trust.

And, third, external events greatly affect our thoughts and actions, a fact that we’ll see explained in detail later on.

So what’s a better metaphor?

That of the ant and the grasshopper, drawn from a fable by the ancient Greek storyteller Aesop, which goes like this:

The ant, always thinking long-term, is busy preparing for winter while the grasshopper enjoys himself, singing, playing and not worrying about winter until it arrives.

The two mindsets symbolized in this story better describe our internal struggle because they depict the battle between immediate rewards like going to a party and long-term planning like spending the night studying. Rationally speaking, it’s the future gains that bear the greater potential. For instance, if you save money it will grow but you also have to live long enough to enjoy it. Therefore, both sides are important and both are contained within all of us.

Hypocrisy and morality are closer to each other than you might expect.

From the time we’re kids we’re told that morality is good and hypocrisy is bad. But in reality this division is just too simple!

That’s because being hypocritical isn’t so much violating your morals as it is shifting them to better suit your needs. People do it all the time. A politician might speak out against prostitution only to be caught soliciting a prostitute himself. When the media grills him on the subject he can’t seem to see a problem with his actions because his mind has convinced him that he did nothing wrong.

Even the most devoted partner can be overcome by lust for someone else.

Have you found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? Well, even if you have, it won’t necessarily prevent you from feeling and acting on your lust.

That’s because lust is easily defined by most people, but love is another story. In fact, it eludes definition. For instance, Plato used to say that humans once had two heads and four legs and arms, and at some point, were split in two by the gods. As a result, we are each in search of our missing half, but how can we know when we find it?

Pride is not always bad, but can be if it’s not earned.

Though pride is considered one of the seven deadly sins, this impulse isn’t actually such a bad thing. In fact, pride can help you work harder and even improve your social status.

That’s because if you take pride in your work you have more of a motivation to excel at it. Plus, prideful people are more capable of overcoming obstacles and mastering difficult scenarios. For instance, in studies on test-taking, it has been shown that knowing you scored well isn’t what makes you work harder: it’s receiving praise for scoring well that does.

Compassionate or cruel? It all has to do with how we perceive others.

Did you know that the divide between cruelty and compassion is actually quite narrow?

Just consider the Ivory Coast where, from 2002 to 2007, a civil war was fought between the north and the south. The fighting was non-stop, except a period of respite during which the warring sides joined together in support of the nation’s soccer team as they competed in the World Cup. After the tournament the fighting resumed.

Feeling gratitude affects our behavior and our trust.

Have you ever noticed how the smallest gesture of kindness from another person can totally transform the way you feel and act? Feeling gratitude makes people more willing to offer assistance to others.

In one experiment, participants were first given a boring computer-based test after which the screens would go blank, seemingly erasing the data. Then, an anonymous helper would step in to recover the information. Afterward, the participants automatically expressed gratitude even though they didn’t know who specifically had helped them and, later in the day, when they were asked for help by a stranger, they gladly lent a hand.

Taking chances has little to do with character and everything to do with perceived risks and rewards.

Do you play it safe and feel better saving your money than investing? Or are you more willing to take risks? Well, whichever tendency you lean towards, both exist within us all.

In fact, the difference between risk-takers and safe-players isn’t character, but actually how they view risk and reward, a perception that’s constantly shifting because of external factors, especially those that influence our emotions.

Prejudices and stereotypes might affect your behavior more than you think.

Are you one of those people who think they don’t hold prejudices?

Well think again, because people hold prejudicial beliefs and stereotypes for an evolutionary reason: they help us avoid danger. However, in the modern world such thoughts can make us behave in abhorrent ways and people easily succumb to them.

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About the Author

David DeSteno is an associate professor of psychology at Northeastern University and director of the school’s Social Emotions Lab. His work has been published in The New York Times and Scientific American.

Piercarlo Valdesolo is an assistant professor of psychology at Claremont McKenna College. His work has appeared in The New York Times, Newsweek and many other notable publications.

Who should read Out of Character?

Students of psychology and philosophy
Anyone who is interested in human behavior

Categories with Out of Character

Psychology

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