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Zusammenfassung von The Gift of Therapy

Name: The Gift of Therapy
Rating: 4.3 (19 reviews)
Author: Irvin D. Yalom

Irvin D. Yalom

An Open Letter to a New Generation of Therapists and Their Patients

4.3 (19 Bewertungen)

15 Min.

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Trauma & Healing Mental Health

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The Gift of Therapy
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What’s in it for me? Understand the fundamental role of the therapeutic relationship in therapy.

When people turn to therapy, it’s often because they’re looking for ways to cope with life’s struggles.

The questions they ask themselves about life, freedom, isolation, and death are deeply personal, but they can have profound consequences on their personal relationships. The therapist’s goal is to help them manage these feelings – and, whenever possible, help repair the broken bonds in their relationships.

In this Blink to Irvin D. Yalom’s The Gift of Therapy, which is geared toward therapists, we’ll explore how the relationship between the therapist and the patient can serve as a conduit to dealing with existential and relationship issues. You’ll learn how emphasizing this model relationship is more important than diagnostics, and how self-disclosure can build trust.

The Importance of the Therapeutic Relationship

As patients start therapy, two things matter. The first involves what they’re going to tell their therapist about their situation. Let’s call that the content. The second is the relationship the patient and the therapist are going to build. We’ll call this the process.

Of these two things, the process matters more than the content.

Why? First, it’ll help the therapist get to know the patient better. This intimacy will make the patient more comfortable with sharing. Second, as the relationship with the therapist grows, the patient is likely to act the way they do in their daily life. This will help the therapist identify areas that the patient really needs to work on.

Therapists should see their patients as fellow travelers – as humans, we’re all essentially dealing with the same issues. Practicing this level of empathy results in effective therapy.

Therapy should also be an engaging experience that doesn’t shy away from the negative things that have happened to the patient. The challenge lies in finding the right time to tackle them in a way that highlights the positives, so that these positive lessons can then be carried forward.

In short, the therapist should collect the content – but always remember to use it to engage the patient. That therapeutic act, the interaction between therapist and patient, is how healing happens.

The Here and Now

If you’re a therapist, there’s a simple yet powerful tool at your disposal: the here and now. In other words, it’s everything that happens in the course of a therapy session. The here and now is an excellent guide to your patient’s other relationships. To tap into this resource, you as the therapist must bring all your observational powers to the interaction.

Watch how your patient opens the door, sits, starts a conversation, or expresses emotion. Examine how their words and actions make you feel. That’s a good way to understand how they make their friends feel.

Using Self-Disclosure to Improve Therapy

Irvin Yalom’s storied career is filled with examples of how being open with his patients led to breakthroughs in therapy. When he was anxious about going to a scheduled radio interview, he shared his anxiety with a patient who had similar concerns. Another time he wondered how much a patient was getting from therapy, and they both agreed to exchange feedback in writing. These interactions provided engagement and input that led to better outcomes.

Self-disclosure will help you get more out of your patient, which in turn will give you more content to work with. Sharing also shows your patient that others are plagued by the same things they’re worried about. They’re not cursed or unique in their suffering. Some patients come to therapy with the belief that their therapist is a magical superhuman. Manage these expectations by highlighting your shared humanity.

How to Handle Existential Issues

Existential issues are questions about the meaning and purpose of life. Some of these themes include freedom, isolation, and death. The recurring emotions that go hand in hand with these issues may appear stronger around tragic events, but they’re always lurking beneath the subconscious.

In tackling these concerns, we first need to understand that they’re universal – everyone everywhere will face these issues. They shouldn’t be seen as taboo because they won’t go away. If anything, knowing that you’re going to die should encourage you to live your best life.

How to Use Dreams During Therapy

Dr. Yalom has often used the dreams of his patients to gain insight into their lives, find suppressed memories, and learn about their fears and expectations over the course of therapy.

To take advantage of dreams, he advises the following.

Psychotherapy as a Dynamic Vocation

If you had to cut down a tree with an ax, would you get right to it or spend time sharpening your ax first?

Irvin Yalom’s body of work centers around the idea that psychotherapy provides ample room for creativity and intellectual fulfillment, but should be grounded in deep reflection and preparation.

Final Summary

When people consult a therapist, they’re usually dealing with personal issues or trying to understand their relationships with others. During therapy, they’ll reveal a lot about their situation, which therapists can use to establish a dynamic relationship. Ideally, patients can learn to transfer the positive lessons from these interactions to other relationships – and lead a more fulfilling life.

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Worum geht es in The Gift of Therapy?

The Gift of Therapy (2001) is a comprehensive guide to improving the relationship between therapists and their patients. Built on safety and trust, this therapeutic bond becomes the foundation for personal healing and the pathway to repairing other relationships.

Wer The Gift of Therapy lesen sollte

Therapists who want to improve their craft
People trying to understand the role of their therapist
Anyone curious about life, relationships, and social psychology

Über den Autor

Irvin D. Yalom’s 45-year career started in medicine – and then progressed to psychiatry, psychology, philosophy, and the way these related fields all provide insight into the practice of therapy. His textbooks on psychotherapy are part of the curriculum at Stanford and numerous other schools. He has released several best sellers, including The Theory and Practice of Group Psychotherapy, When Nietzsche Wept, and Love's Executioner.

Kategorien mit The Gift of Therapy

Communication Skills Health & Nutrition Sex & Relationships Psychology

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