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Zusammenfassung von Girl, Stop Apologizing

Name: Girl, Stop Apologizing
Rating: 4.3 (140 reviews)
Author: Rachel Hollis

Rachel Hollis

A Shame-Free Plan For Embracing and Achieving Your Goals

4.3 (140 Bewertungen)

22 Min.

Themen

Gender- und Sexualitätsstudien Zielsetzung Routinen & Gewohnheiten

Inhaltsübersicht

Girl, Stop Apologizing
in 7 Kernaussagen verstehen

Audio & Text in der Blinkist App

Kernaussage 1 von 7

What’s in it for me? Learn the skills and behaviors that can turn you into a dynamic achiever.

One of the symptoms of growing up in a patriarchal society is that women feel the need to get approval from their male authority figures. And because most women feel a distinct need to fit in and have similar values to their peers, they feel unsure about stepping out of line and doing things differently.

For many women, this upbringing and peer pressure results in the need to apologize or ask for approval if they have desires that don’t align with the traditional female roles of wife and mom. For many, being a good mom means that you have to devote yourself fully to your kids and give up ideas of a full-time career. But as author Rachel Hollis succinctly puts it, it’s time for women to stop apologizing and start embracing their unique desires in life.

Whether your dream is to start your own business, create an app, run a marathon or write a book, these blinks provide some empowering advice on how to break free from concerns about what others are thinking, and focus your attention on the goals that really matter.

In these blinks you’ll find

how five hours a week can put you on the right path;
how the 10-10-1 exercise can keep you focused and motivated; and
why you should always be specific regarding your goals.

There are multiple reasons (and excuses) for why women end up neglecting their dreams.

Imagine what the world would be like if every woman pursued what she really wanted without worrying about getting judged or being plagued by self-doubts. Chances are, if just 5 percent of the women in the world were to fearlessly follow their desires, it would be an entirely different and altogether better world.

Unfortunately, the fact of the matter is, far too many women are neglecting what they want – and there’s a number of reasons why.

For starters, it’s human nature to crave attention and care about what other people think. If you’ve spent any time with children, you know that, as toddlers, they all begin to realize that certain behaviors result in adults paying attention to them. These attention-grabbing behaviors become habitual, and we carry them into adulthood in different ways.

Some children will realize that if they behave as though they’re feeling sick, adults will be kind and take care of them. This can easily turn into hypochondriacal behavior later in life. Likewise, many children realize that if they achieve certain things, they’ll get showered with praise. This can turn into an adult becoming a workaholic overachiever. So, whether we’re conscious of it or not, our actions are often predicated on how others will respond.

Compounding our already troublesome desire for attention and concern over what other people think is the fact that young girls are often raised to believe that their value is solely based on whether they’ll make a good wife or mom. As a result, women are developing behaviors that aren’t based on achieving personal goals, but on pleasing other people.

To put it another way: boys are being raised to pursue their dreams, while girls are raised to pursue what they believe is expected of them.

So, to break free of these deeply-rooted barriers that stop you from being true to yourself, you need to stop focusing on meeting someone else’s expectations. Recognize that it’s okay if one woman’s dream looks completely different than someone else’s, and stop making excuses for why you’re not going after what you really want in life.

As the author sees it, there are quite a few common excuses for why women are afraid to follow their heart’s desires. In the blinks ahead, we’ll tear down these excuses and replace them with empowering behaviors and skills that will get you on track to setting goals and fearlessly pursuing them.

It’s not bad to be different from other women and to start being goal-oriented.

For years, the author led a double life as a devoted wife and mom, who just happened to have a popular lifestyle blog. The other half of her life was the reality behind that blog, which involved working 60-hour weeks overseeing a small staff and running her own business, of which the blog was only one part of.

This double life was due to the fact that, like many other working women, the author was keenly aware that after she had her first child, a lot of people were expecting her to reduce her work hours. After all, popular opinion states that someone working as much as she was could never devote the appropriate amount of time needed to be a good mom. This is why one of the biggest excuses for not following your dream is telling yourself, well, that’s not what other women do.

You can make time for your goals and overcome insecurities through personal growth.

We’ve all at some point dismissed an exciting new idea with the response, “That sounds great, but I don’t have time.” Well, brace yourself for some tough love, because this is another excuse that needs to be banished from your mind.

If you’re to have any hope of reaching your goals, you need to stop looking for free time and start making time. This may require some difficult decisions and sacrifices, but it won’t be long before you’re making progress and reaping the rewards.

Don’t let fear of failure or concerns about what others may think stand in your way.

Hopefully, you’ve never had to feel selfish doing something for the purposes of self-improvement. But unfortunately, “mommy guilt” is a real thing, and it’s resulted in plenty of women feeling compelled to give up on higher education or career plans. Mommy guilt is just another name for the expectation women feel to put aside their own passions and priorities for the sake of raising a family or caring for others.

This leads us to the next excuse: What will they think?

It’s time to adopt useful behaviors, like focusing on one goal at a time and asking for help.

For centuries, traditional – and outdated – rules of etiquette say that “good girls” shouldn’t talk about money or wealth. Instead, they should be demure and make the most of whatever life provides.

But as historian Laurel Thatcher Ulrich wrote, “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” So, instead of telling yourself “good girls don’t hustle,” embrace your ambition and look at some good behaviors you can adopt to increase the chances of successfully reaching your goals.

Build a solid foundation for success with a series of steps.

We like to think that our role models do everything themselves, but this is rarely the case. Every successful person is likely to have a team of loyal people in her corner, who make it possible for her to focus on the important things instead of getting bogged down by mundane details.

Therefore, one of the best new behaviors you can adopt is to ask for help. Don’t think that you have to do it all yourself. Assistants, teachers, housekeepers and nannies can all be invaluable resources in providing you with the support needed to reach your goals.

There are helpful skills that anyone can acquire for sustained success.

Along with your foundation of empowering behaviors, there are also certain skills that can help anyone reach their goals. Now, as with any skill, these are all things that you can get better at with some intentional practice.

First is planning. If you feel like you’re terrible at planning, try this road map exercise: set your goal at the finish line, and then work backward. Think to yourself about what needs to happen for you to get from where you are to that finish line. Brainstorm as many useful ideas as you can think of, and then narrow it down to three of the most important mile markers, that is, smaller goals to get you to your main goal.

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Worum geht es in Girl, Stop Apologizing?

Girl, Stop Apologizing (2019) is a helpful and empowering guide for any woman who’s felt the need to apologize for pursuing their dreams and wanting more out of life. Author Rachel Hollis shares tips and advice that have helped her reach her personal goals – and that might help others realize their own dreams too.

Bestes Zitat aus Girl, Stop Apologizing

You cannot control the circumstances of your life; you can only control your reaction to them.

—Rachel Hollis

Wer Girl, Stop Apologizing lesen sollte

Women eager to be more productive
Moms tired of being made to feel guilty for being ambitious
Anyone interested in being more driven

Über den Autor

Rachel Hollis is a sought after motivational speaker on top of being an author, podcast host, TV personality and the founder and COO of The Hollis Company. Her business is dedicated to providing women with the tools for personal growth, empowerment and lasting change. Her previous nonfiction book is the best seller Girl, Wash Your Face (2018).

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