Getting to 50/50 Buchzusammenfassung - das Wichtigste aus Getting to 50/50

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Zusammenfassung von Getting to 50/50

Name: Getting to 50/50
Rating: 3.6 (43 reviews)
Author: Sharon Meers and Joanna Strober

Sharon Meers and Joanna Strober

How Working Parents Can Have it All

3.6 (43 Bewertungen)

18 Min.

Themen

Familienleben Gender- und Sexualitätsstudien

Inhaltsübersicht

Getting to 50/50
in 9 Kernaussagen verstehen

Audio & Text in der Blinkist App

Kernaussage 1 von 9

What’s in it for me? Become equals, become happy!

Here’s a question for the fathers out there: when was the last time you took out the trash without being asked to? How often did you offer to look after the kids, to give your partner a break?

Hopefully that’s not too hard to answer.

Nevertheless, men and women still don’t enjoy equal rights – neither at home nor at work. But we hardly hear anything about what steps can be taken in order to enjoy the benefits of a 50/50 life. A 50/50 life is a life in which partners equally share the responsibilities of childcare, work life and each other.

What you’ll find out is that an equal division of tasks is totally possible and, actually, it’s the best way to have happy and healthy children, maintain physical and mental health and enjoy a healthy relationship (including sex life!).

In these blinks, you’ll discover

three myths that prevent equality among men and women;
that being a stay-at-home mom isn’t all that healthy; and
what research reveals about the attention we give our children.

Childcare doesn’t hurt your family – it can help you spend more quality time with your children.

Remember Julie Andrews in Mary Poppins, flying into the Banks’ home, making everything prim, proper and perfect? All parents wish they could have that ability, but more than ever, families are struggling to find the best way to care for their home and children. Many rely on childcare, and fear accusations that they’re lazy or bad parents.

Some parents even believe that childcare can hurt their children’s development. But contrary to what you may have been told, childcare on a part-time basis does no harm to the well-being of your children.

In fact, 15 years of research carried out by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development revealed no difference in emotional well-being between children who spent all their time under their parent’s supervision, and children who spent part of their time in childcare. It’s the proportion of time that matters. So if you overdo it with childcare, it may have unfavorable effects on your children, such as an increase in tantrums.

But seeking out extra help should never make you feel like an inattentive parent. Actually, today’s children generally aren’t attention-deprived. Sociologist Suzanne Bianchi from the University of Maryland found that mothers and fathers spent more time with their children in 2000 than they did in 1965.

Also, don’t forget that the quality of your parenting time outweighs the quantity of it.

Mothers who stay at home don’t spend much more time interacting actively with their children than mothers who work outside of the home. A Texas University study showed that mothers who worked outside the home shared only 20 percent less social activity with their children than stay-at-home mothers.

Stay-at-home mothers sometimes don’t appreciate the extra time they have with their children, whereas working mothers tend to cherish the bedtime stories and bathtime they can share.

Both partners enjoy many benefits when the wife works outside the home.

Some men fantasize about coming home from work to find their wife in a sexy outfit, dishing up a home-cooked meal. But really, husbands and wives are happier and more interested in one another when they both work outside the home. They also have stronger relationships and more sex.

Studies show that after the birth of a child, husbands and wives tend to disengage and gravitate away from each other if the mother stays home and the father goes to work. This is because they lead entirely different lives and don’t have much in common.

Working women are healthier and wealthier.

As a woman, does the idea of staying at home and curling up with a good book while your husband goes out to work seem like a dream setup? Not so fast. If you believe there’s nothing better than being a stay-at-home mom, here are a few points to consider:

For starters, women who work are independent.

Myth #1: Mothers are incompetent and want to work less after they have children.

If you’re an expectant mother or have recently had a baby, you may have been confronted with some aggravating comments along the lines of “Well, say goodbye to all your big career plans.”

Sadly, when it comes to work, people don’t have a lot of confidence in mothers.

Myth #2: In order to be successful, you need to work around the clock.

You’re having a heart attack and need to be operated on immediately. A respected surgeon is available, but she’s been working for 16 hours without a break. Would you put your life in the hands of someone so fatigued and overworked?

Probably not, and you’d be right not to! Overworking can be dangerous.

Myth #3: Women and men are treated equally in the workplace.

Some of us observe more traditional couples and wonder: why is she cooking for him all the time? Why is he taking her housework for granted? Unfortunately, sexism and gender stereotyping die hard – and it’s the same at work.

Inequality in the office is alive and well, but thankfully, some progress has been made.

Collaboration between partners is crucial to a fair partnership.

Picture a happy couple from the 1950s. The husband comes home from work, his wife welcomes him with a home-cooked meal, and later they probably watch hours of TV.

Today, the scene is different. The husband gets home after 9 pm, exhausted, and goes straight to bed, too exhausted to hold a conversation with his partner.

Fight for your maternity leave and make sure you have a job to come back to.

Consider how aristocratic women of the past dealt with their children: no sooner had they given birth than the infant was handed over to the nanny so the lady of the house could return to her social obligations.

New mothers these days aren’t desperate for a full-time nanny from day one so that they can socialize, but they could certainly benefit from some support from the state.

To get to 50/50, both men and women need a lot of support.

Getting to 50/50 means actively encouraging fathers. You know those overprotective moms who chastise their husbands, even when they’re just trying to help? Don’t be that person. Failing to encourage the father will only steer him away from engaging with his children.

You can support your husband by acknowledging the various ways of caring for your children.

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Worum geht es in Getting to 50/50?

Getting to 50/50 (2009) exposes the myths surrounding traditional male and female parental roles and provides actionable techniques that allow both mothers and fathers to be independent earners, enjoy quality time with their children and share responsibilities in the household.

Wer Getting to 50/50 lesen sollte

Parents who want to share their responsibilities but don’t know how
Pregnant women or mothers who want to continue working throughout motherhood

Über den Autor

Sharon Meers is a former Managing Director at Goldman, Sachs & Co. and holds a managerial position at Ebay. Together with her husband, she founded the Parity Center at the Stanford School for Business, which supports research on gender equality in the home and at work.

Joanna Strober was a Managing Director of an investment firm, and is the CEO and co-founder of Kurbo, an online company working to prevent childhood obesity.

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