Spy the Lie summary

Have you ever watched a football game with a die-hard fan of one of the teams? Chances are there was a lot of cheering, some yelling and maybe even a little cursing. How did they perceive the events on the field? They probably judged the referee’s calls based on whether they helped or hurt their favorite team.

This slanted, “non-neutral” perception of events is called a bias. We can’t help that we’re biased and, in fact, biases are very much a part of who we are: since they originate from our experiences and personal beliefs, they are quite difficult to avoid.

As you’ve learned so far, we are naturally not very good at detecting lies. As if that weren’t enough, liars also use tricks to mask their dishonesty! If you know how they accomplish this, then you stand a better chance of resisting their manipulation.

Often, liars will use our own biases against us and imitate truthful behavior, i.e., behavior that we normally associate with honest people, in order to sneak their lies past our defenses.

If you’ve ever watched a US court drama, you’ve probably heard the question, “Do you solemnly swear or affirm that you will tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?”

This oath actually highlights three different types of lies, all of which we’ll explore in the next blinks.

The next type of lie, called lies of commission, deals with the “tell the truth” part of the oath.

Lies of commission occur when liars feel the need to increase their credibility in order to avoid revealing the truth. When a simple lie wouldn’t be believable enough, they embellish their lies with details in order to make them believable

Think back on a situation in your childhood when you had to lie to somebody about something important. How did it feel? Did the blood rush to your head? Did you get cold, sweaty palms and dry mouth? You may have even started nervously shuffling your feet in an effort to stay calm. Why is it that we respond this way?

Having to lie in the face of incriminating questions raises our stress level, which then triggers the  fight-or-flight instinct. This powerful instinct instantly prepares your body to face threatening situations. Its roots are buried deep within the brain and we cannot turn it off, which explains why children often try to run away from difficult situations.

Now you’re familiar with some of the ways to spot clues that people are lying. Could you pick out a liar from the crowd? Not quite. Just because you recognize one of these clues in someone’s body language doesn’t necessary mean they’re lying.

Unfortunately, the reality is that deception detection is not an exact science.

Think of the last time you made an involuntary slip of the tongue and revealed your unconscious motives, i.e., a Freudian slip. The same thing can happen to liars when they’re making an effort to cover up the truth, thus accidentally revealing their secrets.

In order to catch a liar in this trap, you must pay careful attention to the exact, literal meaning of the answers they provide.

Nobody enjoys being lied to. But how should you react when you suspect someone of lying to you? Is it best to confront the liar? If so, then how should you proceed?

First and foremost, you should resist the urge to be confrontational: in order to be entirely sure someone is lying, you ultimately need them to cooperate and tell you the truth.

Most of us are bad liars. And we’re also aware of that, so when we lie, we like to be prepared to make the best of it.

Indeed, a liar will have a “game plan” of which facts he’ll admit and which he’ll lie about, and will expect questions regarding those topics.