Love Your Life, Not Theirs summary

Imagine returning from a fantastic holiday only to find your joy dampened by a friend’s seemingly superior vacation posted on Instagram. Suddenly, you’re filled with an urge to plot your next trip. But why? 

Comparing ourselves to others is embedded in our culture – the social media rectangle in our pocket gives us a constant stream into the highlights of others’ lives. But financially speaking, this is a game you can never win. They are showing their best selves – more than that, they are showing a version of themselves that doesn’t even exist. It’s no wonder you’re left asking, “Am I good enough?” or considering a better car or a nicer holiday.

Such comparisons, and the bad financial decisions that often follow, ultimately stem from your own insecurities. You’re not going to change what other people do or post on social media, but you can refocus on your own blessings – and let go of other people’s #blessed.

The first step is to acknowledge that maybe your idea of your friends’ holiday, or marriage, or social life, isn’t accurate. You have no idea what’s really going on, what doesn’t make it to your feed. So stop worrying.

Having nice things isn’t the same as wealth. Someone who has a nice car might in fact be in huge debt. The flipside of this is having wealth doesn’t mean you have nice stuff. The truly wealthy aren’t buying things they don’t need.

Change your mindset. Cheer for others instead of competing. Your friend went on a nice holiday? Good for her! Your cousin got a promotion? That’s great! Separate their achievements from your self-worth. Don’t compare yourself to your parents either; their longer lifespan and different circumstances make such comparisons unfair.

Reflect on the word “deserve,” and what it means to you. Avoid justifying luxuries with “I work so hard, I deserve this.” The truth is, you don’t deserve anything you can’t afford. Work diligently, but reward yourself wisely if saving is your goal.

At the end of the day, the ultimate cure for comparative living is to simply be content. Embrace who you are, and what you have. Your two best friends here are gratitude and humility. If you are happy with what you have, and think of yourself less often, your spending habits will flourish.

With that habit under your belt, it’s time to tackle one of the biggest obstacles to financial success: Debt.