Crazy Joy summary

We tend to believe that we can only be happy when everything in our lives is perfect. When I finally land my dream job… If only I could afford my dream wedding… As soon as I shed that extra holiday weight… But the reality is, the quest for perfection only gets in the way.

We often try to cozy up beside things that we wrongly equate with joy. Things like social status, wealth, achievement, and beauty. But as soon as they’re in our grasp, we just start chasing the next thing. This type of happiness is fleeting.

On the other hand, anything that looks like the opposite of joy sends us running for the hills. Heartbreak, disappointment, failure? There’s no way these things will bring us joy! Best to be avoided at all costs.

The problem with this approach is that avoiding pain or discomfort so often leads to avoiding life. It’s the risks you take that lead you to joy. Sure, you might fall off the horse. But if you don’t at least try, you’ll never experience the thrill of galloping along the beach with the wind in your hair.

So what can you do? Where can you find joy? For MK, the key is to stop looking at the destination. Instead, joy is found in the journey. And the journey of life is filled with ups and downs. There’s no way to avoid that. In fact, heartbreak and failure are often signs of a life lived to the fullest.

In the next few sections, we’re going to explore some of life’s hardships that often feel like the furthest thing from joy – things like fear, insecurity, loneliness, and the ultimate killjoy itself, death. But if you learn to change your mindset, you can begin to find joy in even the darkest moments.

To do this, let’s turn briefly to Sir Issac Newton. That’s right, put your nerd glasses on because we’re about to get sciency. Newton’s third law of motion tells us that for every action there’s an equal and opposite reaction.

You can think of joy as a force. And as with all forces, it shows up in pairs. If you want to experience joy, you better be prepared for the counterforces that will inevitably pull on you: disappointment, heartbreak, failure, and sadness. They’re all part of life. But then again, so is joy.