Building a Non-Anxious Life summary

The first step on the path to a non-anxious life is choosing reality. Essentially, this means taking an honest inventory of your life – the good, the bad, and the ugly. Only then are you equipped with the insight necessary to move toward greater peace and joy. 

Fair warning (in case you weren’t already aware): facing reality can feel confrontational. Facing reality can hurt. Facing reality can be scary.

Yet facing reality also means facing the light as well as the dark. While it’s true that very dark seasons of life are bound to come around, few of us catch the equally innate, everyday glimmers of light: the small blessings, moments of beauty, and spontaneous bubbles of laughter. Perversely, it’s often much easier to be honest about the bad than the good. 

So, how can you make choosing reality a daily practice? 

To start, set aside some time to sit with a pen and paper, or create a new note on your phone or computer. Then, ask yourself the following questions: In what areas – health, relationships, career, etc. – is my life going well? Conversely, what areas of my life do I want to improve? How do I feel about myself? Am I proud of who I am and the direction I’m going? 

If it helps, you can take each main area of your life separately and interrogate the good, bad, and ugly, one by one. Honesty is the name of the game here, but this isn’t a hall pass to beat up on yourself. Remember to acknowledge what’s working just as much as what isn’t – even if that’s only a handful of things. 

While this exercise isn’t one you’ll necessarily do every day, revisit and reflect on your notes regularly and add or amend as you see fit. Over time, you may find that you’re starting to see things clearer – as they are rather than as you’d like them to be or wish they weren’t. And it’s only within this context of reality that the following choices can be made.