Name: The Way of Integrity
Rating: 4.3 (301 reviews)
Author: Martha Beck

What’s in it for me? Integrity is the way to a happy, meaningful life.

So many of the things that cause us to suffer psychologically – people-pleasing, negative habits, or staying in flat relationships – result from being out of touch with ourselves. So what’s the obvious cure? Integrity.

Inspired by The Divine Comedy, these blinks use Dante's framework to break down the path to achieving personal integrity into clear, actionable steps. With tried-and-true techniques, they’ll help you uncover what integrity looks like for you.

You’ll become attuned to the internal signals that can illuminate what you actually want versus what society is selling you and, in the process, reach a place of genuine joy.

In these blinks, you’ll discover

your most important life teacher (spoiler: it’s you);
the difference between pain and suffering; and
the ultimate self-help strategy.

Integrity means being at one with your deepest, truest self – and it’s the antidote to suffering.

Think about your life. Maybe you have an OK job, OK relationships, and an OK sense of purpose. So maybe your life isn’t perfect – but whose is? Honestly, you’re fine.

Now think about how you feel. Does a sense of anxiety, discomfort, or disappointment lurk in your mind? Maybe you tend to dwell on things that didn’t work out or doubt that future dreams will ever come true. Emotionally, you might feel sad, grumpy, or numb; physically, you have no energy; and mentally, you can’t seem to focus. Still, honestly, you’re fine!

But are you, really? And what if, for that matter, fine isn’t enough? Maybe you suspect there’s more out there – more love, more meaning, more happiness.

This is where integrity comes in.

The key message here is: Integrity means being at one with your deepest, truest self – and it’s the antidote to suffering.

Today’s use of the word integrity has taken on a somewhat judgmental tone, but it just means intact, from the Latin integer. Being “in integrity” means being whole and undivided. When a plane has integrity, its many parts work together to make it glide smoothly through the sky. But if it loses integrity, it could stall or crash. That’s not about judgment – just physics.

It’s the same in everyday life. To satisfy social standards, you may often ignore or negate your true feelings, becoming unhappy, unproductive, and sick in the process. When you act in ways that don’t resonate at your deepest level, you suffer because you’re out of sync with yourself. In other words, you’re out of integrity.

Conversely, when your body, mind, heart, and soul are totally aligned, your daily work absorbs you. You love being around your friends, and you experience the most refreshing sleep. Waking up is wonderful because you can’t wait to experience the day ahead. Life, like the intact plane, is smooth sailing.

Maybe you’re rolling your eyes right now and thinking this is a lot of flapdoodle. But maybe you’re also wondering whether such a fulfilling life could exist – and maybe you’d like to discover these levels of joy and purpose.

These blinks reveal a way out of suffering that traces Dante’s journey through the stages of The Divine Comedy – a work the author considers a powerful set of instructions for healing psychological wounds and restoring integrity. First up? The Dark Wood of Error.

To escape the Dark Wood of Error, acknowledge you’re lost and follow your inner teacher.

“Midway through the journey of our life,” begins Dante, “I found myself in a dark forest, for the right way was lost.” Like Dante, you may suddenly be feeling alone and adrift – and you may not know exactly what’s wrong or how you ended up here.

What society tells us is right often misaligns with our true natures, and the Dark Wood of Error is Dante’s metaphor for the inner fog that results from this dichotomy. The first step in realigning yourself – in pursuing the “way of integrity” – is to acknowledge how lost you are. In doing so you’ll probably encounter some challenging beasts, or emotional states: a ravenous leopard (neediness), a terrifying lion (panic), or a sorrowful wolf (depression).

In the Inferno, identify the parts of you that are suffering and set them free.

As he passes through the gate, Dante enters into a hellish abyss of sinners performing various punishments; this is the Inferno. We all have an internal inferno – a place of psychological suffering – which results from being split within ourselves.

But suffering is optional. Pain comes from events, while suffering comes from the way you handle events. Popular psychology often claims that “positive” thoughts make you happy, while “negative” thoughts do the opposite. But a forced cheery statement – “I love my job!” – can feel like a dagger to the heart. Meanwhile, a negative sentiment that matches what you truly believe – “My job sucks.” – provides sweet relief.

To pass through Purgatory, align your external behavior with your newfound inner truth.

Dante and Virgil emerge from the Inferno at daybreak: “So we came forth and again beheld the stars.” They’re at the base of a giant mountain, the exact inverse of the Inferno. This is Purgatory, which means “cleansing” – a place where repentant souls purify themselves through various tasks up the mountain until they reach heaven.

Maybe your new ways of thinking are already lessening your inner torment. Now it’s time to walk the walk. The Inferno ended at self-betrayal, so that’s where your first steps up Purgatory begin. Specifically, stop lying. This practice seems simple, but it’s the ultimate self-help strategy on your path to happiness.

As your inner and outer lives approach complete integrity, you’ll reach Paradise.

Three things occur as Dante reaches the pinnacle of Purgatory. First, he finds himself in a beautiful forest – the Garden of Eden. Second, he meets his old flame Beatrice, who commands him to stop acting like “one who dreams.” Third, he’s dunked in two rivers. The first makes him forget all his wrongdoing, while the second reminds him of everything he’s ever done right.

Dante emerges from the clear water wide awake and in total integrity. And, like the intact airplane, he can fly – literally. He effortlessly glides up to Paradise and takes his place among the stars.

Kernaussagen in The Way of Integrity