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Zusammenfassung von The Invisible Orientation

Name: The Invisible Orientation
Rating: 4.4 (20 reviews)
Author: Julie Sondra Decker

Julie Sondra Decker

An Introduction to Asexuality

4.4 (20 Bewertungen)

16 Min.

Kurz zusammengefasst

'The Invisible Orientation' by Julie Sondra Decker is a comprehensive guide to asexuality. It aims to educate readers on the diversity of sexuality and promote inclusion and understanding for asexual individuals.

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The Invisible Orientation
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What’s in it for me? Become informed about asexuality.

Over the last few decades, there’s been an immense increase in tolerance for and understanding of non-heteronormative sexualities. The LGBT community is more visible than ever and has gained considerable rights, an indication that, hopefully soon, no sexual orientation will be viewed as abnormal or deviant.

But what if all this talk of sex doesn’t make much sense to you? What if you don’t feel sexually attracted to anyone?

This is the situation for those who identify themselves as asexual, and even as more and more of the sexual spectrum comes into the light, asexuals are, by and large, unacknowledged. So let’s explore how asexuality works and how we can improve our understanding of this invisible orientation.

In these blinks, you’ll find out

the difference between sexual attraction, sexual arousal and sex drive;
why asexuals are often pressured into having sex; and
what all of us can do to be more supportive of asexual people.

Asexuality is a sexual orientation that describes experiencing a lack of sexual attraction to anyone.

If you’ve ever encountered someone and felt sexually enticed by his or her appearance, then you’re familiar with basic sexual attraction.

Let’s take a moment to define some terms, here. Don’t confuse sexual attraction with arousal, or sex drive, all of which are different things.

Sexual attraction simply refers to the emotional reaction of finding someone sexually appealing, whereas arousal describes a physical reaction and sex drive is the desire to respond to that arousal.

For many, this distinction isn’t that important, since these reactions usually go together, with one following the other: if you find someone sexually attractive, you are easily aroused and then feel the desire to pursue these feelings.

But there are also people who identify as asexual, which means they’re not sexually attracted to anyone. If you were to ask them who they find sexy, the answer would be “Nobody.”

Now this doesn’t mean they can’t get aroused or feel the desire to do something about it.

Yes, some asexual people are repulsed by the idea of having sex, but others are indifferent and might perform the act as a favor to a partner.

If an asexual person chooses to engage in sex or masturbation, that does not put an end to their asexuality. It’s important to remember that behavior is not what defines sexual orientation. Just like anyone else, asexual people are perfectly capable of having sex with people they don't find attractive.

In fact, asexual people might masturbate for the same reason most people do: because it feels good, and they want to enjoy the rush of endorphins or relieve stress.

And as with other sexual orientations, being asexual is neither a decision nor a choice. After all, no one can choose to find someone attractive; it just happens.

Others will often respond to an asexual person with condescension, saying, “Just wait, one day you’ll find someone attractive,” suggesting that the person doesn't fully understand his or her own feelings.

The fact of the matter is this: asexuality is a sexual orientation just like any other, since it describes how a person experiences attraction.

Strong relationships can be built upon romance, without sex.

Perhaps you’ve heard the saying, “Sex isn’t the same as love.” It’s a common argument in many discussions around infidelity. And for asexual people, this is definitely a true statement.

For asexuals, a loving and romantic relationship isn’t based on sex.

Many people don’t know asexuality exists, while others misinterpret the orientation.

Have you ever thought it would be great to be invisible? Well, be careful what you wish for. A feeling of invisibility is familiar to many asexuals, since most people aren’t even aware their orientation exists.

Society has a hard time understanding why people don’t engage in sexual activity, which leads to characterizations of asexuals as overly religious, passionless or antisocial. Or simply as lonely people who’ve failed the dating game.

Asexuals are often asked to prove their orientation is not “caused” by a mental or physical illness.

What would you say to a friend who started dating someone she wasn’t sexually attracted to? Chances are, you wouldn’t tell her to go see a doctor, and yet this is an all-too-common reaction to asexuality.

Unfortunately, some people think of asexuality as a disorder, and even demand proof of physical health before accepting this orientation.

It’s terribly stressful being seen as unnatural and having people try to “fix” and change you.

What is the purpose of life? It’s an age-old philosophical question, and some might say that part of the answer involves reproduction, which supposedly drives our sexual desires.

Due to this belief, heterosexuality is still viewed as the most “natural” orientation, since it produces children. And while society has advanced and is now less discriminatory of non-procreative sex, people who don’t want to have sex are still faced with the label of being “unnatural,” despite the fact that asexual people can conceive children as well as anyone else.

A growing number of forums and organizations provide support and spread awareness about asexuality.

What’s better than sex? A while back, a survey among asexuals provided a plausible answer: cake. Since then, the image of a cake has become a symbol of asexuality on many websites on the topic.

And the internet has proven to be a valuable resource, since there is so little awareness elsewhere in society.

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Worum geht es in The Invisible Orientation?

The Invisible Orientation (2014) provides a helpful introduction to asexuality, including valuable information on both what it is and what it is not. You’ll also learn about how people experience this sexual orientation, the difficulties that come with it, and why there is no need to cure it, condescend to it or consider asexual people as being any different from you or me.

Bestes Zitat aus The Invisible Orientation

Approximately one percent of the population is asexual.

—Julie Sondra Decker

Wer The Invisible Orientation lesen sollte

Anyone interested in how sexual attraction works
Adults who are wondering about their sexual orientation
Sociologists interested in the variety of human life

Über den Autor

Since 1998, Julie Sondra Decker has helped raise awareness of asexuality by providing interviews and insight to such mainstream media as The New York Times and Marie Claire. Decker is also a webcomic artist and a writer of science fiction and fantasy. Being aromantic and asexual, she currently lives, happily single, in Florida.

Kategorien mit The Invisible Orientation

Liebe & Sex Gesundheit & Ernährung

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