The Leader In You summary

It used to be that loudness meant you were tough, stubbornness indicated knowledge, and being argumentative signified honesty. Here’s the thing: when it comes to getting people to do what you want, coercion and threats might work in the short term, but openness and support set the foundation for long-term success.

Being able to communicate well can inspire people. It’s what catalyzes great ideas into action. And it’s not complicated if you master these three basic steps.

Picture a man on a horse, galloping toward the villain to rescue his one true love. As he rides, he’s joined by a guy on his left – then another on his right. Suddenly, there are ten more. They keep forging ahead, kicking up dust, multiplying in number. Seconds later, hundreds are riding toward their shared destiny.

Like the hero in the cowboy movie trope, when a leader rides, others follow suit. To truly motivate people, you need to make them feel like you’re all in it together.

Wagging tails, excited jumps, slobbery licks . . . dogs go out of their way to demonstrate they like you. And the best part is, you know their joy is genuine – ulterior motives aren’t part of their vocabulary.

Dogs are the ultimate friend-makers. So take it from them: the fastest way of making friends is by becoming genuinely interested in others. People are flattered by attention; it makes them feel special. And so they tend to reciprocate.

David Holman had called his biggest grower with bad news: the export price for the man’s vegetables was going to be halved. The man sounded shocked, so Holman decided to drive to his farm and finish talking in person.

Standing in the middle of a field in a spare pair of boots, he empathized with all the hard work, hardships, and disappointment the man had gone through. He expressed heartfelt concern. Miraculously, the grower accepted the situation – and Holman’s offer.

Back when Hugh Downs was just getting started as a live radio interviewer, he witnessed a grandiose failure to listen. A colleague was interviewing a man who’d escaped a Kremlin prison. It was a dramatic tale. For months, the man said, the prisoners had been tunneling their way out – sometimes even eating dirt. Finally, they began digging upward and were shocked when they breached the surface: they’d landed smack-dab in the middle of Josef Stalin’s office.

At that point, the interviewer asked whether the man had any hobbies. Major fail.

One year, instead of getting a midterm exam, first-year graduate students at Harvard Business School were randomly divided into teams of four. They were given a business problem and 24 hours to draft a written solution. Oh, and each team member would receive the same grade.

Needless to say, the students weren’t happy. They thought their team members would bring them down. But, in the end, the groups that struggled the most learned the most – welcome to the real world.

Nobody’s perfect; everyone makes mistakes. We all know this on some level – but it’s only once mistakes have been fully normalized that people can truly express their creativity or take risks.

There are a few basic principles that can make criticism an easier pill to swallow.

Endless drifting. Wasted time. Zero urgency, zero direction, zero purpose.

No, we’re not talking about purgatory. We’re talking about a life devoid of goals. Clear, measurable, and attainable goals can give your life direction and keep you focused.

David Burpee thought the marigold had potential. Back in 1933, the flower was typically small – and it smelled bad. So Burpee set out to find a mutation without the unpleasant odor. He ordered hundreds of seeds from all over the world, planting and then sniffing every flower. One variety from Tibet was promising: it was odorless but had a scrawny bloom.

Encouraged, Burpee crossed the Tibetan seed with a larger variety and planted 35 acres. Once the flowers had bloomed, he told his foreman to go and smell every plant. The man looked at him like he’d gone bonkers, so they came up with a compromise. Burpee called up all the employment agencies in the area with an unusual request: 200 flower smellers. 

Here’s a riddle for you: What do the US Army, your heart, and Winston Churchill have in common? The answer is an oxymoron: they all figured out that pressing pause is the best way to keep going.

The US Army discovered that soldiers could march further and faster if they laid down their packs and rested for 10 minutes of every hour. So that’s what the soldiers do.

Think happy thoughts, and you’ll be happy. Think miserable thoughts, and you’ll be miserable. Think successful thoughts, and – well, you get it.

Outside factors don’t usually determine your happiness; it’s how you react that makes all the difference. That’s right: simply assuming a positive attitude can work wonders in terms of your productivity, quality of life, and ability to lead.

Some people are blessed with smarts. Others have a penchant for creativity or athletics. But, luckily, raw talent is only half the picture. Each and every one of us can add lines, flourishes, and color to our pictures with a little thing called enthusiasm.

Enthusiasm is infectious, and it engages people. The best way to get someone excited about something is to be excited yourself – and to show it.