Nice Racism summary

Whenever Robin DiAngelo conducts a workshop on racism, one of the most common critiques she receives is that she’s making unfair generalizations about white people. After all, participants say, white people aren’t a homogenous group. Some of them were brought up to never discriminate against anyone. Others have worked hard to tackle racism in their communities despite coming from racist families. In fact, many of the white people she engages with have dedicated themselves to social justice work. They’re activists, teachers, social workers, and spiritual leaders. Some of them have Black friends or family members, and they live in diverse communities.

So, they ask, how dare DiAngelo group all white people together into one racist lump without even bothering to find out their individual stories? Underlying that question is an assumption common among nice racists: the assumption of individualism.

Robin DiAngelo’s childhood seemed anything but privileged. She grew up in extreme poverty, and her family experienced long periods of houselessness, during which they lived out of their car. She often didn’t have enough to eat, and her teeth were rotten because her parents couldn’t afford dental or medical care. In fourth grade, her teacher humiliated her in front of the class by telling her she was dirty and smelled bad.

White people who have grown up in circumstances like DiAngelo’s often respond furiously when informed that they experienced white privilege. It seems to invalidate all their lived experiences of suffering and oppression. But as hard as their personal experiences were, they were never made harder on account of their race. And that’s white privilege. 

A Black executive whom DiAngelo knows once had a disagreement with her white assistant over a key policy issue. Her boss, who was also white, sided with the assistant. The Black executive then challenged her boss over the obvious racial bias he had displayed in siding with her less-qualified assistant – and got fired. 

Mind you, there was nothing wrong with her performance at work. Her crime was making her boss feel uncomfortable by explicitly calling out his racism. 

President Joe Biden has been praised for taking some long-overdue steps toward increasing diversity in the White House. But back when Biden was a United States senator, he was criticized for praising other senators who were open racists and segregationists. Biden’s response? He couldn’t be racist, because he’d worked alongside civil-rights activists his entire career.

Biden’s move was a classic case of what DiAngelo calls color-celebrate credentialing – which is a white person using his proximity to Black people and people of color to prove he’s not racist. Former President Donald Trump has pulled the same move. When Trump was accused of racism, his chief of staff quickly announced a news conference. While Trump spoke, Lynne Patton – a Black woman and Trump appointee – stood on stage behind him. Patton didn’t say anything, but the message was clear: Trump couldn’t possibly be racist. 

When DiAngelo was in college, she and her white partner went out for dinner with another couple, who were Black. DiAngelo, who had grown up in a very segregated neighborhood, didn’t have much experience in socializing with Black people – and she was anxious to make a good impression. 

So she spent the whole evening bombarding the couple with stories about her racist family, relaying their terrible jokes in great detail and taking delight in portraying them in the worst light possible. In the most cringeworthy way, she was trying to communicate her wokeness – how hip, aware, and not racist she was. “I'm not like my racist family! I'm one of the good white people,” she may as well have said.

Imagine this: You're at work, and a Black coworker takes you aside to have a word. You were out of line when you told a joke at lunch, he tells you. The punch line came at a Black person's expense, which meant that the joke was racist; it was offensive, and you should have known better.

You feel your face getting flushed, and your heart starts beating faster and faster. Why is he attacking you? You're the least racist person in the world!

We think of feelings as being natural and pure – things that bubble up inside of us as a reaction to our thoughts and experiences.

But feelings are also controlled and interpreted by the societies we live in. For example, white people will usually perceive an angry white man as powerful, while an angry Black man is seen as threatening. Some people are allowed to have strong emotions, while others are not. And some emotions are more socially acceptable than others.

Following the murder of George Floyd at the hands of the police, there was a huge surge in anti-racist organizing. Black Lives Matter marches took place around the world, and seemingly every corporation released their own statement condemning racism. Anti-racist teachers and coaches were booked out for months doing diversity and inclusion trainings. 

White progressives got involved in anti-racist movements in record numbers, and they grew fluent in the terminology of racial justice. But there’s a difference between knowing the right things to say and actually working toward change. So how can you make sure that your actions align with your values?