I Forgive You, But... summary

Understanding the Concept of Forgiveness

In I Forgive You, But... by Karen Jensen Salisbury, the author begins by delving into the concept of forgiveness. She clarifies that forgiveness is not about excusing the offense or denying the pain caused by the wrongdoing. Instead, it is a conscious decision to release the offender from the debt they owe us. This, she explains, is because we, too, have been forgiven by God.

Salisbury emphasizes that forgiveness is not a feeling but a choice. It is not about forgetting the wrong done to us but about choosing not to hold it against the offender. She explains that holding onto unforgiveness only hurts us, not the offender, and can lead to bitterness, resentment, and even physical illness.

The Healing Power of Forgiveness

The author then moves on to discuss the healing power of forgiveness. She shares heart-wrenching personal stories of individuals who have faced unimaginable pain and suffering but chose to forgive their offenders. In doing so, they experienced a sense of freedom and peace that surpassed understanding.

Salisbury further explains that forgiving someone does not mean we condone their behavior or that we should continue to subject ourselves to abuse. Instead, it means releasing the offender from our desire for revenge and letting go of the power they hold over us.

Overcoming the Barriers to Forgiveness

Next, I Forgive You, But... addresses the barriers to forgiveness. The author identifies common obstacles such as pride, fear, self-righteousness, and the belief that the offender doesn't deserve to be forgiven. She provides practical steps to overcome these barriers, including acknowledging our pain, seeking God's help, and choosing to forgive, even if we don't feel like it.

Salisbury also addresses the misconception that forgiveness is a one-time event. She explains that forgiveness is often a process that may need to be repeated as new emotions and memories surface. However, she assures us that with God's help, we can continue to forgive and move towards healing.

Choosing to Forgive

The book concludes with a discussion on the importance of choosing to forgive. Salisbury stresses that forgiveness is not for the benefit of the offender but for our own well-being. She explains that when we choose to forgive, we are choosing to obey God's command, to reflect His character, and to live in freedom.

In conclusion, I Forgive You, But... by Karen Jensen Salisbury is a powerful guide to understanding and practicing forgiveness. Through personal stories and biblical wisdom, the author provides a compelling case for the transformative power of forgiveness. She encourages us to choose forgiveness, not because the offender deserves it, but because we deserve to live free from the burden of unforgiveness.