Girl, Stop Apologizing summary

For years, the author led a double life as a devoted wife and mom, who just happened to have a popular lifestyle blog. The other half of her life was the reality behind that blog, which involved working 60-hour weeks overseeing a small staff and running her own business, of which the blog was only one part of.

This double life was due to the fact that, like many other working women, the author was keenly aware that after she had her first child, a lot of people were expecting her to reduce her work hours. After all, popular opinion states that someone working as much as she was could never devote the appropriate amount of time needed to be a good mom. This is why one of the biggest excuses for not following your dream is telling yourself, well, that’s not what other women do.

We’ve all at some point dismissed an exciting new idea with the response, “That sounds great, but I don’t have time.” Well, brace yourself for some tough love, because this is another excuse that needs to be banished from your mind.

If you’re to have any hope of reaching your goals, you need to stop looking for free time and start making time. This may require some difficult decisions and sacrifices, but it won’t be long before you’re making progress and reaping the rewards.

Hopefully, you’ve never had to feel selfish doing something for the purposes of self-improvement. But unfortunately, “mommy guilt” is a real thing, and it’s resulted in plenty of women feeling compelled to give up on higher education or career plans. Mommy guilt is just another name for the expectation women feel to put aside their own passions and priorities for the sake of raising a family or caring for others.

This leads us to the next excuse: What will they think?

For centuries, traditional – and outdated – rules of etiquette say that “good girls” shouldn’t talk about money or wealth. Instead, they should be demure and make the most of whatever life provides.

But as historian Laurel Thatcher Ulrich wrote, “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” So, instead of telling yourself “good girls don’t hustle,” embrace your ambition and look at some good behaviors you can adopt to increase the chances of successfully reaching your goals.

We like to think that our role models do everything themselves, but this is rarely the case. Every successful person is likely to have a team of loyal people in her corner, who make it possible for her to focus on the important things instead of getting bogged down by mundane details.

Therefore, one of the best new behaviors you can adopt is to ask for help. Don’t think that you have to do it all yourself. Assistants, teachers, housekeepers and nannies can all be invaluable resources in providing you with the support needed to reach your goals.

Along with your foundation of empowering behaviors, there are also certain skills that can help anyone reach their goals. Now, as with any skill, these are all things that you can get better at with some intentional practice.

First is planning. If you feel like you’re terrible at planning, try this road map exercise: set your goal at the finish line, and then work backward. Think to yourself about what needs to happen for you to get from where you are to that finish line. Brainstorm as many useful ideas as you can think of, and then narrow it down to three of the most important mile markers, that is, smaller goals to get you to your main goal.