All You Have to Do Is Ask summary

Imagine the scene: You have to make an urgent phone call, but your phone battery is dead. Would you have the courage to ask to borrow a stranger’s phone? Even if doing this didn’t feel far too awkward for you, you might assume that no one would say yes.

But you’d be wrong. Psychologists at Columbia University have found that many strangers in New York City were willing to oblige when participants in a study asked to use their cell phones. In fact, it took, on average, only two tries to get a New Yorker to lend a phone. Believe it or not, participants didn’t even have to make up a sob story about why they needed to borrow it.

When you’re applying for a job, how much consideration do you give to a company’s culture? For some, it’s as important as the job description and financial reward.

So what’s the most important ingredient in an organization’s culture? According to researchers at Google, the answer is clear: psychological safety. When a workplace is psychologically safe, employees feel comfortable asking questions, admitting mistakes, and bringing up problems. 

“There is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving” – or at least so says an ancient proverb. But does this mean that it’s wrong to receive? Not at all. In fact, these two acts go hand in hand. It’s impossible to give without receiving, and vice versa. 

The law of giving and of receiving – or asking – is not about helping those who help you. It’s about helping others regardless of whether they’ve helped you or are likely to help you. It is an investment that will yield powerful returns over time.

For some people, asking is easy. The problem is that, even if you’re one of these people, it can be hard to know precisely what to ask for. What do you need to achieve success? Or you might know what you need, but have no idea whom to ask. On other occasions, we know what we need and who can give it to us, but simply aren’t sure how to express ourselves in a powerful way. 

Here’s the key message: Learning to ask for what you need will help you get closer to your goal.

Have you ever made a mistake at work? Were you able to discuss it freely with colleagues or ask for help in resolving it? If not, what stopped you? Was it the culture within your team or organization?

Companies need to create conditions in which team members feel comfortable asking for help and discussing mistakes.

If you have ever worked for a large organization, you may have observed that some teams or departments work independently of each other. Some even work on identical projects without being aware of it. What a waste of time and resources!

Sometimes companies are structured in a way that worsens these divides. For instance, consider Kent Power, where communication between superintendents who oversaw operations in the field and company executives had broken down completely. How did they bridge the divide? 

Doesn’t it feel good when you receive praise? Sadly, over 20 percent of full-time employees in the United States report that they never get recognition for their work. That’s according to a survey by the Globoforce Workplace Research Institute. 

Recognizing and rewarding employees is critical to building a more engaged, motivated, and productive workforce. Companies that are serious about creating a culture of asking should make a point of recognizing and rewarding staff members who request help. But take note: to be effective, recognition must be frequent, repeated, authentic, and personalized.