We Are Not Ourselves summary

The American Dream and Its Consequences

In We Are Not Ourselves by Matthew Thomas, we journey through the life of Eileen Tumulty and her relentless pursuit of the American Dream. Born in 1941, Eileen's childhood is marked by her father's alcoholism and her mother's resilience. Determined to escape her humble beginnings, she marries Ed Leary, an intelligent and reserved scientist, hoping that he will provide her with the stability and upward mobility she craves.

As the couple starts a family, Eileen's relentless ambition drives Ed to pursue a better job and a larger house. Despite his growing reluctance, Ed complies, and they move to a new home in Bronxville, a neighborhood that Eileen has long desired. However, the American Dream they've been striving for begins to unravel as Ed is diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's at the age of fifty.

Struggles and Sacrifices

As Ed's condition deteriorates, Eileen becomes the primary caretaker, sacrificing her own dreams and aspirations to tend to her ailing husband and their son, Connell. She takes on multiple jobs, including a grueling night shift as a nurse, to ensure that they can afford Ed's medical care and Connell's education. As the years pass, Eileen is forced to confront the reality that the life she worked so hard to build is slipping away from her.

Connell, on the other hand, struggles with his father's illness and his mother's relentless drive for upward mobility. He rebels against the values his parents have instilled in him and drops out of college to pursue a career as a musician. This further strains Eileen's relationship with her son, who she feels is squandering the opportunities she has fought so hard to provide for him.

Acceptance and Reflection

As Ed's condition worsens, Eileen is forced to confront her own mortality and the futility of her relentless pursuit of the American Dream. She begins to accept her circumstances and find moments of joy and peace in her life, despite the challenges she faces. She also starts to reconcile with Connell, understanding that his path may be different from the one she envisioned for him.

After Ed's passing, Eileen, now in her seventies, reflects on her life and the choices she has made. She realizes that her relentless pursuit of the American Dream has come at a great cost, causing her to neglect the present in favor of an idealized future. Despite the hardships she has faced, Eileen finds solace in the love and memories she shared with Ed and Connell.

A Powerful Exploration of the Human Experience

In conclusion, We Are Not Ourselves is a powerful exploration of the human experience, examining the consequences of unbridled ambition and the sacrifices we make in pursuit of our dreams. Through Eileen's story, we are reminded of the fragility of life and the importance of cherishing the present moment. The novel serves as a poignant reminder that the pursuit of the American Dream can come at a great cost, and that true happiness may lie in accepting and appreciating the life we have rather than the one we desire.