Mind Control: Get What You Want From Life With These Tips from ’13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do’
Yes, it is possible to train your brain for success and satisfaction, in the workplace and in other aspects of your life. If you feel like you’re constantly self-sabotaging yourself from achieving your goals, here are five key tips from 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do to help you develop mental strength, conquer hurdles, and ditch your fears.
Don’t try to change things beyond your control – change your responses
You can’t do anything about the bad things that happen to you – and these are bound to occur, no matter how well-prepared you are. The good news, though, is that you can change your reflexes and responses when things go awry. Try not to dwell on your misfortunes, as this can lead to getting stuck in a cycle of bitterness and developing the sort of entitled attitude that endears you to nobody. Keep in mind that the world doesn’t owe you anything, and that if you hold onto that belief, it will not only frustrate you, but also undermine your performance.
13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do
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Don’t focus on others’ thoughts and feelings
If you allow others to decide your self-worth, it gives them power over you, which makes you more vulnerable to manipulation – and distraction! Stand your ground and take control of your own actions. In the end, these are the only ones that you’ll be held accountable for. When it comes to your own projects, don’t set your mind on pleasing people, and define your own boundaries. Thinking of yourself doesn’t make you selfish, and neither does putting yourself first sometimes – but be discerning, as certain situations require definite levels of awareness of those around you.
From: 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do
by Amy Morin
Fear prevents you from taking risks and moving forward
The reason so many people perceive change to be scary is not only because stability is comfortable, of course, but because we tend to assume a small change will overhaul our lives completely – which can only make us put it off all the more. For instance, trying to get fitter doesn’t have to mean becoming a gym buff overnight – it can mean making small alterations to your life, such as eating fewer sweets, or taking the stairs instead of the elevator. The assumption of big, overwhelming changes is linked to the human tendency to overestimate risks, which leads to us not fulfilling our potential.
Another example is being determined to go freelance or found your own company, but at the same time too scared to quit your full-time job to make it happen. Gradual changes are key: you could save up money, working up to scaling down your hours so that you can commit to your venture.
FOMO – fear of missing out – is a killer! Trawling social media, if done for too long, can ingrain you with envy and mistrust of your peers. But true friendship is not built on resentment or using someone to get ahead. Try not to compare yourself with others, especially those with similar skills to you – the green-eyed monster will make your bad days even worse. It’s also worth remembering that to avoid feeling insecure, you have to stop defining your self-worth according to others’ standards. In today’s hustle society, doing “nothing” is frowned upon, but we need these moments or we’ll burn out in no time. The strength to feel comfortable when alone is an invaluable asset.
Manage negative emotions to increase mental strength
Mental strength is not about burying negative emotions – that just causes them to fester. It’s about harnessing them to deal with difficulty. Become your own coach and take a close, objective look at your behavior in situations that you dislike or dread. Which habits are holding you back? Would you like to change them? Train yourself to shift these impulses one by one, while reminding yourself of the goals and values you want to stick to. In order to be valuable, thoughts must be realistic and contribute to your well-being, whether that’s in your personal or professional life. Creating your personal definition of success, one that does justice to your talents and strengths. Don’t assume things that went wrong in the past will repeat themselves – forgive yourself and focus on making it better this time around.
These five tips just scratch the surface of the wisdom in this book. You can check out all the key insights from 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do on Blinkist.