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Simplify Getting Over a Breakup: Guy Winch On How To Fix A Broken Heart

In this episode of Simplify, psychologist Guy Winch tells Caitlin how our emotional and physical pain are alike and how to heal from common heartaches.
by Natallia Darozhkina | Sep 20 2018

Nothing hurts worse than heartbreak. Whether it’s the painful end of relationship or the passing away of a beloved pet, grief and emotional suffering can quickly become all-consuming. And that’s where we blame ourselves and feel guilty for our inability to overcome emotional pain fast enough. Moreover, as psychologist Guy Winch shows, when going through a breakup, it’s not just our mental health that suffers, but our bodies too.

In this episode of Simplify, Winch reveals what happens in our brain when we’re experiencing a romantic heartbreak or a loss of a pet and offers warm and wise advice for all the broken-hearted.

“…It’s not just about time and waiting it out, it’s about taking steps.”
Guy Winch

Listen to this episode to find out the reasons to stop stalking your ex on social media and why you should not necessarily wait to jump into another relationship after a breakup.

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Who’s Guy Winch?

Guy Winch

Guy Winch is a licensed psychologist, author, and a leading advocate for integrating the science of emotional health into our daily lives, workplaces, and education systems. He has been working with individuals and couples in his private practice in Manhattan for over twenty years. His viral TED Talk, Why We All Need to Practice Emotional First Aid,” has been viewed over 6 million times and is rated among the most inspiring talks of all time on His latest book, How to Fix a Broken Heart, is a message of hope addressed to the broken-hearted and grief-stricken.

Guy Winch’s recommended reads

1. The Healthy Mind Toolkit: Simple Strategies to Get Out of Your Own Way and Enjoy Your Life by Alice Boyes

In this book, clinical psychologist Dr. Alice Boyes gives an understanding of what is getting in the way of your personal success and happiness and provides a wide range of tools on how to gradually transform your behavior in order to improve the quality of your life and mental health, as well as prioritization and decision-making.

Comment from Guy: “…It’s very very practical. It has a lot of self assessments and very specific tools. I believe that psychology needs to be a practical science for people.”

Sapiens traces the evolution of our species – from the rise of our most ancient ancestors to our current place in the modern, technological age. How have we, a species of hairless, tailless ape, managed to completely dominate the entire planet? This book shows you the developments and trends that have allowed Homo sapiens to rise to the top.

Comment from Guy: “…It is about the summary of human existence in human history. And it’s a massive best-selling book, most people have heard of it and read it, but it’s really great.”

Extra credit reading

If you would like to dive deeper into some of the topics Guy Winch covers in this Simplify episode, check out this book list composed by Caitlin and Terence!

In A General Theory of Love, three psychiatrists take a scientific look at the phenomenon of love. Arguing that our emotional experience in adulthood is profoundly influenced by our childhood relationships, the authors suggest ways to undo this emotional “programming” and establish healthier relationships with friends and romantic partners.

On the Way to the Wedding: Transforming the Love Relationship by Linda Schierse Leonard

Jungian analyst Linda Leonard explores our desire to having meaningful connection to another person and what happens when that goes awry. She explains how to connect with yourself first before you have a union with somebody else. Using personal experiences, as well as excerpts from movies and literature, Leonard reveals the difficulties and inner obstacles to love and creativity that both men and women go through.

In Love by Alfred Hayes

This novel set in 1950s New York describes the story of a middle-aged man who fell into a relationship with a lonely young divorcee. She would consequently cheat on him agreeing to an indecent offer from a millionaire, thus causing deep heartbreak and a desperate condition, which the author addresses with brutal honesty, showing all the sufferings that one can go through in the midst of losing somebody.

What’s Simplify?

Simplify is a podcast for anybody who’s taken a close look at their habits, their happiness, their relationships, or their health and thought “There’s got to be a better way to do this.” We talk to bestselling writers, productivity wizards, sex geniuses, and happiness experts to find it for you.

Simplify is made with love by Blinkist. Click here to try Blinkist free for 14 days with the voucher code: heart

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Talk to us!

We want to hear from you! Drop a line to us at [email protected] about whatever tickles your fancy.

If you want to say hi to Caitlin, Terence and Ben in the meantime, you can find them on Twitter: @CaitlinSchiller, @terence_mickey, @bsto.

Who made this?

Your hosts are Caitlin Schiller and Terence Mickey.

Research and production assistance by Nat Darozhkina and Ben Schuman-Stoler, sound and editing by Ben Jackson and Ody Constantinou.

Thanks to Nico Guiang for our awesome intro and outro music. Listen more on Soundcloud or check him out on Facebook.

Got links?

Guy Winch’s website:

Read the transcript here!

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