Know Your Love Language: Learn to Speak “Quality Time”
Ever wonder how many languages are spoken around the world today? Is it 50? 100? Maybe even 500? In fact, there are at least 7,111 languages actively spoken on Earth! Yet despite the vast number of dialects devised by our species, when it comes to the language of love, our hearts only know a handful.
In his book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, author Gary Chapman explains how individuals generally express and experience love in five distinct ways: physical touch, receiving gifts, acts of service, words of affirmation, and quality time.
Chapman further details how each of us associates affection more closely with one “love language” than the others, and when partners learn to communicate in each other’s preferred form of expression, the couple is more likely to have a lasting, loving relationship.
Among the five love languages, quality time might seem relatively simple to understand. However, there’s more to this love language than many might think.
Defining the Love Language of Quality Time
Perhaps more than most, people who communicate in this love language never lose sight of the fact that time is a finite resource and that every minute is irreplaceable. They view time as a priceless gift they want to give and receive in relationships, and although they appreciate expressions of love in other languages, alternate types of affection aren’t considered as meaningful as time together.
However, just because two people are in the same place together doesn’t mean they’re actually spending quality time with one another. Hence the “quality” component of this love language. The important thing to know is that it’s more about the level of attention you pay to your partner than it is about how many minutes or hours you spend by their side.
By effectively focusing exclusively on a partner who speaks quality time, you’ll help them feel loved, respected, and appreciated, keeping their “love tank” full of fuel.
How to Tell If Your Love Language Is Quality Time
If you’re unsure as to whether you or your partner communicate love in terms of quality time, here are some telltale signs this is your native love language.
- You’re an excellent listener and always give others your undivided attention.
- You aren’t as susceptible to distractions as others, and you find it easy to focus.
- You prefer not to be alone and think most activities are more fun with others involved.
- You always make time for your loved ones, even if you’re not physically with them.
- You enjoy sharing new experiences with others more than receiving physical gifts.
10 Tips for Communicating with a Partner Who Speaks the Love Language of Quality Time
There are countless ways for couples to spend quality time together, but obviously, not everyone enjoys the same activities. If you’re in a relationship with someone who speaks this love language, here are some tips to help you meet their needs.
- Go out and about — Take a walk around the neighborhood, invite your partner on some errands, or check your community calendar and attend a local event together.
- Around the house — Prepare a new recipe or root around the garden together. Bust out a puzzle, learn to play a new board game, or simply read books by one another.
- Get active — Raise your heart rates by working out together, or engage in any number of physical activities including bowling, hiking, and golfing.
- Take quick trips — If you’ve got a day or two to spend together, go camping, take a road trip, or visit a local amusement park.
- Think long-term — Begin a DIY project that the two of you can work on together over the course of several days, weeks, or even months.
- Plan events and vacations — Whether you like to throw parties or explore the world, outline your next big undertaking by planning it together.
- Scheduled regular date nights — Give your partner something special to look forward to by making plans to explore new restaurants, bars, and art galleries.
- Engage in quality conversation — Get in the habit of telling your partner what’s on your mind and asking them about what’s going on in their life.
- Stay away from smartphones — When spending time together, avoid distractions by keeping digital devices out of sight as much as possible.
- Be deliberate with your time — Above all else, be mentally present when with your loved one, and show them respect by giving them your undivided attention.
In truth, the language of quality time is more about being in the moment and having the opportunity to express love than it is about the actual activity you engage in. New experiences are generally great for couples, however, and as long as you’re both doing something you enjoy, your relationship will benefit. Your plans don’t have to be elaborate or expensive, and thanks to technology, two people can spend time together even if they’re separated by great distances.
The 5 Love Languages
The 5 Love Languages
- 20 min reading time
- audio version available
Become Fluent in All 5 Love Languages
People who speak the love language of quality time want to be the object of their lover’s undivided attention. They want to feel cherished and prioritized, and rather than receiving gifts, words, acts, or touch, they prefer to simply spend meaningful time together.
If you’re interested in learning more about the five love languages, check out this comprehensive summary that breaks each dialect down to its basics. And if you want to find out even more about Gary Chapman’s book, launch the Blinkist app now to explore the full set of blinks to The 5 Love Languages.
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