Knowing your love language as well as your partner’s can save a world of miscommunication. In this series, we break down the 5 love languages to give you a speedy lowdown on how to navigate each one. This time: physical touch.
You can check out a fuller exploration of the key ideas from The 5 Love Languages in the Blinkist app, as well as a library of over 4,000 titles across 27 crucial categories. We’ve also recently added key insights from podcasts—Shortcasts—to the list, so why not open the app now and see what else you can discover?
For now, though, let’s get back to exploring the most sensory of all the love languages.
In his book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts, author Gary Chapman describes how people primarily interpret and express love in one of five ways: receiving gifts, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and words of affirmation.
Chapman further explains how many of the problems modern couples face arise because partners often feel and express love in different ways. But, he notes, when individuals in relationships learn to communicate in their partner’s love language, they can strengthen their bond by keeping each other’s “love tank” full of fuel.
Physical touch is a nonverbal love language people use to let others know they are cherished. The physical nature of this language leads some people to think it’s simply about satisfying sensual needs, but desiring physical touch is usually more about feeling seen and safe than it is about sex.
Expressions of physical touch don’t necessarily have to lead to intimacy, though they certainly can when both partners are on the same page. Regardless, when someone communicates love in terms of physical touch, that doesn’t mean they’re always in the mood. Likewise, partners of people who speak this language should never assume they have permission to touch their significant other at any time or in any place.
When it comes to couples and the language of physical touch, communicating love is largely about timing. To those who value this dialect of desire, even the most subtle gesture can speak volumes if it’s delivered at the right moment. Placing a palm on your partner’s wrist, planting a small kiss on their forehead, or gently stroking their face with your fingertips can come across as incredibly loving.
If the five love languages are new to you, and you’d like some help determining whether or not physical touch holds the key to your (or your partner’s) heart, here are some signs to help you recognize this love language.
Not everyone innately knows how speaks the love language of physical touch, but becoming fluent in it is a skill anyone can acquire. Here are 10 tips to help you respond to your partner’s needs by communicating through physical touch.
For some couples, communicating through physical touch isn’t always an option. Business trips, military deployments, and long-term work assignments can all keep partners away from each other for months on end.
Long-distance relationships can pose a challenge for people who speak the love language of physical touch, but here are a few tactics to overcome being apart.
Physical touch is a powerful way to express love, but there are also four other ways in which the heart communicates. If you’d like to enhance your relationships by learning about them all, launch the Blinkist app now and dive into the full set of blinks to The Five Love Languages.
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Michael is a writer, editor, and lifelong geek living in San Diego, California. He’s been writing for print and digital publications for more than a decade. When not at a keyboard, he can usually be found biking around the beach, staring at a cinema screen, or buried in a good book.
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