Love is commonly referred to as the universal language, yet, in fact, it’s anything but. In his bestselling book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, author Gary Chapman explains how the heart communicates in a quintet of “love languages,” which vary from one person to the next. You can get a more in-depth look at all these love languages on the Blinkist app, where you can read or listen to the key insights to Gary Chapman’s classic in just about 15 minutes. According to Chapman, the languages include: receiving gifts, physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, and quality time. And among these, “acts of service” may be the most misunderstood.
Many people assume the “acts of service” love language solely revolves around household chores and menial tasks, however, this isn’t actually the case. So to help demystify the truth behind this form of emotional expression, here’s an overview of “acts of service.”
It’s a common misconception that those who speak the “acts of service” love language are merely looking for someone to whom they can delegate tasks. In reality, though, people who perceive love through this language primarily want partners willing to share everyday life’s responsibilities.
If you’re in a relationship with someone who values acts of service, pleasing your partner is less about your individual actions and more about letting your loved one know you are on their team. Above all else, they want to hear you say, “Let me do that for you,” and they sincerely appreciate anything you do to make their existence easier or more enjoyable.
It’s important to note that some people are reluctant to perform acts of service because they’re concerned about falling into expected gender roles. Yet communicating in this love language isn’t about satisfying stereotypes; it’s about expressing affection through actions. Neither partner should ever feel like the other’s servant.
If you’re wondering whether your (or your partner’s) love language is an act of service, here are some telltale signs associated with this method of communication.
If you believe your partner perceives love in terms of acts of service, you might not be sure how to meet their needs most effectively. Here are 11 tips for catering to this love language to aid you in your efforts.
Many of the obstacles modern couples face arise from expressing love in different ways. The good news is it’s never too late to tune into your partner’s love language and start fulfilling their needs. And when partners take the time to identify and understand each other’s love language, their relationship is far more likely to last.
Doing useful things for your partner is an excellent way to demonstrate your love, but acts of service are only one way the heart communicates. If you’re interested in learning how to speak all five love languages, dive into the full set of blinks in Gary Chapman’s book now. And if you’re curious about other ways to increase romance in your life, explore Blinkist’s extensive library, which includes takeaways from hundreds of other titles about love, romance, and relationships. Start your 7-day free trial
Michael is a writer, editor, and lifelong geek living in San Diego, California. He’s been writing for print and digital publications for more than a decade. When not at a keyboard, he can usually be found biking around the beach, staring at a cinema screen, or buried in a good book.
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