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How To Get Your Husband To Help You With Chores

This article sheds light on the challenges faced by women in traditional households who are burdened with the majority of household chores. Despite having their own jobs or businesses, many women find themselves solely responsible for cooking, cleaning, and other domestic tasks, while their husbands focus solely on work.
by Chris Allmer | Jun 14 2023
How to husband

Many women have been stressed by house chores, and even when they don’t complain, they wish their husbands would help them too. Often, the challenge is to communicate to their men what, where and how to help and actually get them to do something instead of snoring away.

In many traditional homes, women handle all the household chores, while men only concentrate on working to provide for the family. Even when many of these women also have jobs or businesses that they run, their husband doesn’t help out to make their life easier.

In this article, we will place the spotlight on some challenges women face at home, and provide tips on how to get the husband to help with housework without nagging.

Housework Is Hard Work

According to The Guardian, in most marriages, women handle around 65% of regular recurrent household chores like cooking and cleaning. Men, on the other hand, only do rare chores like mowing the lawn and fixing clogged sink pipes. This entails that women do housework every other day, while most men only do theirs once in a while.

This gender inequality at home has been so entrenched into the minds of families that many husbands see no wrong in watching their wife slave away, while wives see it as a burden they must bear. It is often because these people grew up watching their mom do all the housework, while their father played little or no domestic role apart from making money for the family.

The truth is, times have changed; more women now have full-time jobs and businesses, so it’s unfair for them to do as much domestic work as they used to do when they were housewives. Husbands must become more actively involved in domestic activities, as marriage is supposed to be a partnership.

Why Shared Chores Are Important

Sharing domestic chores is important to create a sense of partnership, friendship, and equality between a husband and wife. Some other importance of shared domestic duties include:

  • It reduces stress on the wife
  • Watching parents share duties serves as a good example to children
  • Sharing chores encourages appreciation and empathy
  • It promotes teamwork and corporation
  • It indicates that a husband cares and truly loves his wife

Tips on How To Get Your Husband More Involved in the Household

Here are some practical tips on how to get your husband to participate in doing domestic duties without them nagging.

1. Communicate your Pain, Not your Anger

The tone of communication always matters and could determine your husband’s reaction. If you come off to him nagging and expressing your anger, he could get defensive and think that you’re challenging him, or want to emasculate him. But when you gently explain to him that the stress is gradually overwhelming you, you’d appeal to his empathic side and get him to become more helpful and open to these new tasks.

2. Make a List of Responsibilities and Share Them

You can encourage your husband to participate in home duties by making an exhaustive list of things that need to be done at home and discussing it with him. You both should then share the duties among yourselves. It is best to assign these duties in a way where the husband becomes more active in the day-to-day running of the home.

One smart way to go about it is to break complex duties down into easy steps. For instance, instead of assigning cooking to yourself, you can break the process down in a way where your husband cuts the veggies, while you blend the tomatoes.

3. Hold him Down with Fun and Conversation

A woman once shared a story of how she got her husband to start helping her in the kitchen by often telling him stories of the drama at her office. Each time she wants to cook, she excitedly tells him that she has a story for him, and he would come around to enjoy the juicy gossip. In the process, she makes him run other small errands in the kitchen.

You can adopt this and other fun methods like playing music or doing karaoke while cleaning your home; watching a movie while folding laundry, or listening to podcasts of your favorite books on Blinkist while doing house chores together.

4. Switch Roles

You can get your husband to appreciate your efforts, and start to help without nagging by switching roles. Sometimes, convince him to cook for you so that he can experience, firsthand, the stress you go through every day.

5. Involve the Kids

Apart from getting your husband to help out with domestic duties, you should also involve your kids. Teach them to do the dishes, clean their room, and fold their laundry. With time, they would get better at it, and you won’t need to supervise or do it for them.

6. Appreciate his Efforts

He will be motivated to do more when he sees that you appreciate what he has done. Buy him simple gifts, say sweet words to him, and let him know that you’re delighted that he’s easing your stress. Also compliment him on his work and if you have any suggestions to make, explain why for a better understanding.

The Modern Husband Toolbox by Blinkist

Many husbands do not understand the need to partake in household chores because they think it’s exclusively their wife’s duty. Many of these men did not see their fathers doing domestic duties, so it’s not surprising that they find it emasculating. However, you can get your husband to start doing house chores without nagging by introducing him to The Modern Husband Toolbox by Blinkist.

The Modern Husband Toolbox is a collection of some of the most impactful books on marriage, relationships, and spousal responsibility. These books will transform your husband into an ideal partner who makes your life easy and stress-free. Start your free trial today!

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